Annie's Baby: The Diary of Anonymous, a Pregnant Teenager

Chapter One\ September 11,Monday\ I can't believe I woke up this morning and it was an ordinary day: Take a shower, brush my teeth, clean my room, slap a last-minute polish on my (due yesterday) science paper, do the breakfast dishes, empty garbage, etc.... then WOW... WHAMMY ... CRASH ... BANG ...\ Me! Limping off the soccer field all smelly and bruised and battered and stuff after my Volkswagen bug-diesel-truck collision with Mountain Marion Martin. I was streaked with grassy dirt, trying to push my sweaty, limp hair out of my face, and rubbing a big "owie" under my right eye, Actually, I was feeling generally like Humpty Dumpty, when HE ... came running toward the football field, suited up like a regular NFL star and gorgeous as Brad Pitt, even gorgeouser ... is that a word? If it isn't, it should be!\ Anyway, he ground to a stop right in front of me like an airplane coming down the runway for a landing and said, "Hi. Should I ask how you're doin'?" Ordinary me looked around to see who he was talking to. He tapped my shoulder and started laughing. I couldn't help laughing with him. Usually I'm ... you know, really uncomfortable around boys, except the guys who are my buddies, male slugs I've grown up with. But him! Wow! Now I guess I know what hormones are!! They seemed like a strange idea in health class, but then and there-KA-POWIE-I felt like a stick of dynamite had blown up inside me.\ I remember every word the gorgeously gorgeous one said. Actually, they are each forever engraved in my memory and mind for posterity! He said, "I'm new here, and ... I'm looking for a friend. A sort of, not embarrassed to be"— hesnickered — sweaty, sporty sort of friend." He looked past my grungy, stringy bangs into the very deepest part of my heart and brain, and my whole body and soul smiled back at him.\ The guys on the field began yelling. As he ran off, he whispered very slowly, in a kind of husky whisper, as though it were a sacred secret, "'Bye, friend."\ I'm lying here on my bed going over and over and over the awesomeness of it all. He wants me to be his friend! I want to be! I really do want to be! More than I've ever wanted anything in the world in my whole life!\ September 12, Tuesday\ 6:32 a.m.\ I got up before it was even light outside — (me! Who sometimes doesn't even hear my alarm clock go off) — showered, washed my hair and curled it on hot rods, used some of Mom's face mask, and tried on everything in my closet. I've got to look my very best today! I know he said he wants a "sweaty, sporty sort of friend," but I'm sure he wants a girl who sometimes looks like a girl's supposed to look too, at least I hope with all my heart he does. Oh please, please make him not want to see me looking, my sweaty, dirty tomboy worst like he did last time.\ 4:21 p.m.\ All day long, every time I had a chance, I prowled up and down the halls hoping I'd see him somewhere, but it's a big school. I wonder if he's been looking for me? Maybe going down the East hall while I'm going down the West one. (I can't believe I don't even know his name.) Maybe he's sick or was in an accident or something! That's dumb!\ Wasn't that a crazy dream last night when I vi-sioned us playing tennis together and me letting him win! Not likely! Mrs. Raynor says if we had a team here at middle school, I'd for sure be its captain.\ Ummm ... I wonder if I would let him win because of the hormones and the macho thing?\ And ... I guess I might as well face it; maybe he says to every girl what he said to me. I couldn't bear that! But I guess I could; maybe I'll have to. Ouch! That really hurts! It hurts, but it could be reality too. Goodness knows it happens often enough on TV and I've never really had a boyfriend before. I mean, no one ever seemed to like me that way ... maybe it's just the way I want him to like me.\ Jenny called. She and Deanna were going to the mall, but I said I didn't feel like it. I'd rather just sit here and feel sorry for myself. I wish I hadn't told her how mushed I am about him. It makes me seem like a real nutcase, nerd, dweeb. Besides I wanted to just happen to rollerblade past the deserted schoolfield and the park and stuff ... just in case ...\ I was out for about an hour and a half but no sightings. Poor me.\ September 14, Thurday\ 4:42 p.m.\ I'm trying to get over him. But it's not really getting over him! It's kind of like it was a dream or movie, or some other repeating and repeating stupid, idiotic thing. I can't believe something like this can make me feel so completely world-shatteringly, darkly empty.\ September 19, Tuesday\ 4:17 p.m.\ I used to write almost every day. Now there doesn't seem to be anything worth writing about.\ September 21, Thurday\ 4:50 p.m.\ Radder than rad news! Molly and I were coming off the soccer field, pushing each other and being silly, when I felt someone come up behind me and put their hands over my eyes. My heart literally flopped; I wanted it to be him so much, but I thought it was probably Mel or one of the other...

\ Publishers Weekly\ - Publisher's Weekly\ Sparks (It Happened to Nancy) shares another slice of a troubled teen's life, this time focusing readers' attention on the topic of teen sex and pregnancy. The first, most excruciating entries in 14-year-old Annie's diary trace her victimization and impregnation by a manipulative and sadistic boyfriend. Completely obsessed with 16-year-old Danny ("He called me an `Earth Angel.' And I think I'm going to commit myself completely to being just that for him, no matter what!"), Annie is less prepared than readers for the devastating fall she takes the day her home pregnancy test comes out pink. The remaining, more solution-oriented segments of the book convey Annie's arduous climb from rock-bottom ("I CANNOT BEAR TO FACE IT! I WILL NOT!") to a state in which she can confront her mistakes and plan for herself and her child. With the support of her exceptionally tolerant mother, patient teachers and a nonjudgmental therapist (supposedly Sparks), Annie changes from a self-deprecating romantic ("Could plain me possibly be good enough for awesome him?") to a more level-headed realist, who learns, painfully, to put her baby's needs before her own. The book carries a strong anti-abortion sentiment and has an aura of soap opera as well. However, it provides a plethora of objective and valuable information about sex, pregnancy and birth control, and even includes a "What Is Love?" quiz to help girls assess their relationships. An appendix lists relevant statistics, crisis and information hotline numbers, and other useful resources. Tackling issues young adolescents are often reluctant to discuss with adults, this volume will likely find a place on the reference shelf. Ages 12-up. (July)\ \ \ \ \ KLIATTThis is the story, written in journal format, of 14-year-old Annie and her pregnancy. What begins as a crush on a boy who showers her with attention spirals quickly downward as the boy becomes manipulative, controlling, and abusive. Annie has to come to grips with the fact that she is pregnant. She must somehow inform her mother; and she will get no support from her boyfriend. Annie wishes to keep her baby, but is confronted with the responsibilities of raising a child. She eventually decides that she simply cannot provide the kind of life she wishes for her baby. She longs for someone to talk to, but never approaches her mother, turning to her journal instead. This book would make good discussion material for teenage girls at risk. Dating, teen sex, and pregnancy may make the material unsuitable for middle school libraries; however, Annie herself is only 14. KLIATT Codes: S—Recommended for senior high school students. 1998, HarperCollins, Avon, 231p., Ages 15 to 18. \ —Anne Tormohlen\ \ \ Children's Literature\ - Joyce Rice\ Annie is completely and totally in love with Danny, and like most teenagers, she can only see, talk, and eat Danny. Unfortunately, Danny has never learned to love anyone without hurting them. Annie is very confused by her feelings, and by Danny's reaction. Surely he loves her too, because the two of them have been intimate, and Danny said that is what kids do when they love each other. So why is Annie now facing her problems alone, except for her diary named Daisy, who is her dearest friend in the world? Parents will be reminded of how difficult it is to be an adolescent and of all the dangers lurking in their world. Teens will be made aware of situations they may encounter and can handle differently than Annie did. This would be a worthwhile addition for middle school collections.\ \ \ \ \ VOYA\ - Deborah L. Dubois\ This is the actual diary of a fourteen-year-old girl who finds herself pregnant. It details her thoughts and feelings about her relationship with a boy two years older than she and the decisions her pregnancy forces her to make. Edited by the same person who did Go Ask Alice, this diary shows the emotional ups and downs of a girl in Annie's situation. Annie is a good girl. She is on the soccer team and wants to please her single mom, but when Danny is interested in her, he becomes her whole world. She starts to lie about where she is, who she is with, and what she is doing. At first Danny treats her well, but when he abuses her and even attempts to rape her, she wants to be his girlfriend so badly that she makes up excuses for him. She begs him to take her back and then lets him run her life. Even after he rejects her when she becomes pregnant, she still says she loves him. Annie feels that her diary is her only friend. She goes to a school for unwed mothers, has her baby, and tries to be a good mother. Her own mother is very supportive, but in the end, they find that it is impossible to keep the baby and give her a good life. This book conveys how easy it is for a girl to get in trouble when she lets a boy become all-important to her. It portrays a very realistic picture of what teenage pregnancy and motherhood do to a young girl's life. The book includes factual information on pregnancy, STDs, and violence, and crisis hotline numbers to call. This book should be available for girls before they have to deal with this situation. It just might get a girl to think twice before she lets a boy take over her life. VOYA Codes: 4Q 4P J S (Better than most, marred only by occasional lapses, Broad general YA appeal, Junior High-defined as grades 7 to 9 and Senior High-defined as grades 10 to 12).\ \ \ \ \ School Library JournalGr 6-10-A book that's sure to be as popular as Go Ask Alice (S & S, 1971), which was also edited by Sparks. Annie, 14, falls head over heels for handsome, wealthy 16-year-old Danny when he befriends her. She lies to her mother to go out with him and he takes her to drinking parties in his red convertible. Annie is soon totally dependent on him despite his frequent bad moods and erratic behavior. When he rapes her, he tells her that she led him on and made him lose control. She continues to love him even as he abuses her both physically and emotionally. Annie is heartbreaking in her trust and hope that Danny will turn back into the sweet, gentle boy she fell in love with only a few months earlier, and she becomes desperate when her period fails to come on schedule. Finally, she has to tell her mother and figure out what to do. The diary format is a surefire draw for teens and preteens. This book has the same errors in grammar and flow problems as Alice, but they lend realism to the narrative. Not as graphic as the earlier title, Annie's Baby displays a 14 year old's naivet about sexuality and bodily functions. Buy multiple copies and prepare for the onslaught of requests.-Susan R. Farber, Ardsley Public Library, NY\ \