Are You Ready?: The Gay Man's Guide to Thriving at Midlife
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A guide to celebrating midlife from the author of the national bestseller Love Between Men. Library Journal Isensee, a clinical social worker and psychotherapist who has focused specifically on the psychological development of gay men in such books as Love Between Men: Enhancing Intimacy and Keeping Your Relationship Alive (Alyson, 1996), here hopes to "help gay men counter oppressive stereotypes about growing older, affirm a positive midlife identity, and grapple more successfully with these changes." Buttressing his account with excerpts from in-depth interviews with ten gay men of various backgrounds aged 37 to 50, he discusses changes in identity, physicality and sexuality, mortality, spirituality, and relationships. As a description of some men's experience, the observations and anecdotes, if not profound, make for engaging reading, supplementing such works as Gay Men and Aging (Garland, 1997), Gay Midlife and Maturity (Haworth, 1990), and Raymond Berger's Gay and Gray (Harrington Park, 1996). Recommended for specialized collections and larger public libraries.--James E. Van Buskirk, San Francisco P.L.
AcknowledgmentsVII IntroductionIX 1: Thriving at Midlife1 Countering Stereotypes Positive Aspects 2: Ready or Not!20 Gay Midlife Challenges Stages Soaring, Crashing, Walking 3: Into the Dark Wood41 Reaching Closure with a Youthful Identity Types of Evasion Recovery at Midlife Coming Out of the Darkness 4: Behind the Mask59 The Persona The Inner Butch and the Inner Fairy Only the Shadow Knows 5: Physical and Sexual Changes79 Changes in Body Image Daddies and Masters and Bears (Oh, My!) Changes in Sexuality 6: Sex and the Single Gay Guy98 Sex and Dating at Midlife Countering Shame About Being Single Looking for a Relationship 7: Impact of Midlife on Gay Relationships121 How Relationships Change Over Time Renewal or Leaving? Creating Our Own Families 8: Loss and Mortality140 HIV and Multiple Loss Grieving New Hopefulness Dealing With Aging Parents 9: Meaningful Work153 Mentoring Midlife and Beyond 10: Gay Menas Shaman/Tricksters165 Tricksters and Wounded Healers Midlife Tasks Celebrating Gay Midlife Appendix194
