Belly Laughs: The Naked Truth about Pregnancy and Childbirth
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The acclaimed national bestseller-a humorously candid account of what you can really expect when you're expecting ePregnancy Belly Laughs is a fun, lighthearted read that just might have you reaching for that enema bag at the first sign of labor!
So You Got Knocked Up? (Getting Pregnant)1Honey, Your Sperm Really Do Work! (Pregnancy Tests)5Barf-O-Rama (Morning Sickness)9Niagara in My Pants (Vaginal Discharge)13Psycho Chick (Hormonal Rage)15Holy Shit, I Think I Hard-Boiled My Baby! (Taking Hot Baths)19Granny Panties (Letting Go of the G-String)23I Can Either Pee on You or You Can Get the Hell Out of My Way! (Frequent Pee Breaks)27Passing Stonehenge (Constipation)31Is It a Penis or a Vagina? (Finding Out the Sex)37Can I Have a Mustard Sandwich with Pickles, Anchovies, Peanut Butter, and a Little Cottage Cheese?...Oh, and Throw a Few Fish Sticks on There! (Cravings)43Where in the Hell Can I Find a Muumuu? (Nothing to Wear)47Freddy Krueger Ain't Got Nothing on Me! (Dreams)53Is That an Apple on Your Rectum, or Are You Just Happy to See Me? (Hemorrhoids)57Hi, Porn Star! (Engorged Breasts)59Ready and Squeeze...Your Kegels (An Exercise for the Vagina)65Well, It's Not 1972 Anymore! (Baby Boomers Explaining How It Was in Their Day)69Did a Sewer Tank Explode, or Did You Just Fart? (Gas)73Hands Off, Dude! (Strangers Touching Your Belly)75I Can't See! I'm Bleeding! I Can't Stand It! (Weird and Painful Bits and Pieces)77www.ihavetostopbuyingbabyshit.com (On-Line Baby Stores)81Is It Hot in Here or Is It Just Me?...It's Just Me (Hot Flashes and Fainting Spells)83Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, OOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!...I'll Take Another One of Those, Please! (Orgasms in Pregnancy)87The Crying Game (Hormonal Blues)91So, Anyway, Like I Was Saying...Wait, What Was I Saying? (Wandering Mind)95Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, Who's the Prettiest Pregnant Lady of Them All? Clearly Not You, Lady! (Face Acne and Rashes)97It's a Bird! It's a Plane!...No, It's a Really Swollen Pregnant Lady! (Water Retention)101The McRib Sandwich (Back Pain)105Headaches (Headaches...Duh)109That Ain't My Ass! (Cellulite Gain)111No, Not Yet! I'm Not Ready for This Yet! (Premature Labor)115Poopin' on the Table (The Dark Side of Delivery)119The Blue Twinkies (Your Swollen Vagina)123Die, Model Bitch, Die! (Hating Skinny People)125OOOOH! I Think I Felt the Baby Move...or Maybe It's Just Gas (Baby Kicks)129Organizing Freak (Your Nesting Instinct)133Breathing for Dummies (Lamaze)135What the Fu*k Are These? (Stretch Marks)139I Just Need to Lie Down for, Like, Five Minutes...Okay, Maybe Three Months (Sleepiness)143Pig in the Pasture (Sex in the Ninth Month)147The Moment of Truth (Labor and Delivery)149Let Me Repeat (Husband No-No's)163
