Cook to Bang: The Lay Cook's Guide to Getting Laid
Tired of dates that leave you with nothing but a $150 dinner tab, a doggy bag, and blue balls? Enter Cook to Bang, a guide to wining, dining, and sixty-nining for cooks who don’t know their asparagus from their elbows. It offers a history of Cook to Bang seduction throughout the ages, tips for setting the bait, the best menu for each “sexual profile,” methods for creating a sexy-time vibe, and a game plan for how to make your move. Born from the popular Web site, Cook to Bang is an everyman’s...
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Tired of dates that leave you with nothing but a $150 dinner tab, a doggy bag, and blue balls? Enter Cook to Bang, a guide to wining, dining, and sixty-nining for cooks who don t know their asparagus from their elbows. It offers a history of Cook to Bang seduction throughout the ages, tips for setting the bait, the best menu for each sexual profile, methods for creating a sexy-time vibe, and a game plan for how to make your move. Born from the popular Web site, Cook to Bang is an everyman s guide to cooking your way into your date s bed. "My game was so bad my friends thought I was gay. Girls always thought of me as their guy friend that they could say anything to except for 'I want to ride you like a pony.' Thanks to the Cook To Bang tips and the Baked Briez Nuts recipe, I felt like Sea Biscuit after 8 furlongs." --ANDREW IN CHARLOTTE "Up here in Porkland, Oregon there s little tail that hasn t expired or gone lumberjill. But when you do find one you can t just be another emo hipster with a cool tattoo. Cook to fucking bang!" --MICHAEL IN PORTLAND "I felt inclined to comment on how COOK TO BANG helped a girl out. I am in a relationship with a great guy, but I never knew how to get some serious morning action. Thanks to Sex Crazy Mofo Tofu Scramble, my boyfriend went all sex crazy after breakfast... Cook to Bang works for girls too." --MADELINE IN LOS ANGELES "Adaptable to any orientation it seems, CTB is a gay man s culinary paradise. Fondle My Sausage and Pinch My Peppers is the cornerstone to any gay first date. Even if he s deeply buried in the closet, his stone wall will come crashing down once his buds get a taste." --BRETT IN SAN FRANCISCO Publishers Weekly Private chef Walker, formerly a creative executive for Nickelodeon and the Cartoon Network, puts his talents to misogynistic ends in this off-putting cookbook, aimed at the young male demographic who made Tucker Max a bestseller and treat The Game as a guide to life. Dedicated to helping novices "cook an amazing meal and bring out their date's inner slut," Walker presents basic cooking and entertaining techniques doused in graphic anecdotes, casual insults, frat-boy innuendos and plenty of disdain for the opposite sex. Sound advice on presentation, kitchen essentials, wine pairings, and flirting is buried amidst Walker's steadfast commitment to the low road, including digressions on farting, recipe titles like "Tap That Ass-paragus Soup" and "Miso Horny Cod," and witless bon mots like, "boozing has always been as American as apple pie eaten off Betsy Ross' tits." Stale chauvinist humor aside, Walker's guide doesn't live up to its potential, content to circle the drain endlessly with a tiring litany of female stereotypes and recycled seduction strategies. Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
\ Publishers WeeklyPrivate chef Walker, formerly a creative executive for Nickelodeon and the Cartoon Network, puts his talents to misogynistic ends in this off-putting cookbook, aimed at the young male demographic who made Tucker Max a bestseller and treat The Game as a guide to life. Dedicated to helping novices "cook an amazing meal and bring out their date's inner slut," Walker presents basic cooking and entertaining techniques doused in graphic anecdotes, casual insults, frat-boy innuendos and plenty of disdain for the opposite sex. Sound advice on presentation, kitchen essentials, wine pairings, and flirting is buried amidst Walker's steadfast commitment to the low road, including digressions on farting, recipe titles like "Tap That Ass-paragus Soup" and "Miso Horny Cod," and witless bon mots like, "boozing has always been as American as apple pie eaten off Betsy Ross' tits." Stale chauvinist humor aside, Walker's guide doesn't live up to its potential, content to circle the drain endlessly with a tiring litany of female stereotypes and recycled seduction strategies. \ Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.\ \
