Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys
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For thousands of years, women have asked themselves: What is the deal with guys, anyway? What are they thinking? The answer, of course, is: virtually nothing. But that has not stopped Dave Barry from writing an entire book about them, dealing frankly and semi-thoroughly with such important guy issues as:ScratchingWhy the average guy can remember who won the 1960 World Series but not necessarily the names of all his childrenWhy guys cannot simultaneously think and look at breastsSecret guy orgasm-delaying techniques, including the Margaret Thatcher MethodWhy guys prefer to believe that there is no such thing as a "prostate" USA Today Whether you're a guy—or attempting to share a bathroom with one—Barry has some wacky words of wisdom for you.
IntroductionxiGuys vs. MenAre You a Guy?3Take This Scientific Quiz to Determine Your Guyness Quotient1The Role of Guys in History13Men Went to the Moon, but Guys Invented Mooning2The Biological Nature of Guys33Important Scientific Reasons Why They Act Like Jerks3The Social Development of Guys55Nature Alone Should Not Take the Rap4Tips for Women75How to Have a Relationship with a Guy5Guy Problems93The Pain. The AnguishThe Men's Room6Special Medical Concerns of the GuyOr: "It's Just a Sprain"1237Guys and Violence151The Curse of the Noogie Gene8The Domestic Side of Guys (With a Side Discussion on Orgasms)171Or: The Secret Truth About Why Guys Are Better at MathOr: Where Standards Came FromOr: Perfectly Legitimate Reasons Why a Person Might Elect to Blow His Nose on His LaundryOr: Let's Not Be So Darned Critical of Tapeworms9Guys in Action193Conclusion221The Aging Guy: Settling Down and Hurling BuicksFuture Guys of Tomorrow: Is There Hope for Humanity? (No.)Index234
