Don't Vote - It Just Encourages the Bastards
"The free market is a bathroom scale. We may not like what we see when we step on the bathroom scale, but we can't pass a law making ourselves weigh 165. Liberals and leftists think we can."\ "Given the complete dominance of politics by Committee Brain, the wonder is that anything gets done, and the horror is that it does. What government accomplishes is what you'd expect from a committee. 'A camel is a horse designed by a committee' is a saying that couldn't be more wrong. A camel is a...
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Red State. Blue State. Republicans. Democrats. Bailout. Stimulus. Health Care Reform. Blah blah blah. Has there ever been a moment where politics have sucked any more?Don’t Vote – It Just Encourages the Bastards is a brilliant, disturbing, hilarious, and ultimately sobering look at why politics and politicians are a necessary evil — but only just barely necessary. P. J. presents his Sex, Death, and Boredom Theory of Politics, which breaks the social contract down to power, freedom, and responsibility by using a party game, Kill, F@#k, Marry, more typically found in late-night giggle sessions at all-girls boarding schools.With this tripartite lens of politics, O’Rourke looks at the financial crisis (“The best investment I’ve made lately? I left a $20 bill in the pocket of my tweed jacket last spring, and I just found it”), the bailout, health care reform (“Something doesn’t add up. Politicians are telling me that I can smoke, drink, gain two hundred pounds, then win an iron man triathlon at age ninety-five”), the stimulus package, climate change (“There’s not a god-damn thing you can do about it . . . There are 1.3 billion people in China and they all want a Buick”), trade imbalance, the end of the American automobile industry, U.S. foreign policy and the Family of Nations (“Uncle Russia’s out on parole, drunk, unemployed, and likely to kill some folks next door again soon”), campaign finance reform, gun control, No Child Left Behind (“What if they deserve to be left behind?”), and pretty much everything else under the sun. His findings: Put the country’s big, fat political ass on a diet. Lose that drooping deficit. Slim those spreading entitlement programs. Firm up that flabby pair of butt cheeks, which are the Senate and the House. Listen to P. J. O’Rourke on the pathetic nature of politics and laugh through your tears or — what the hell — just laugh. Publishers Weekly O'Rourke (On the Wealth of Nations) continues his libertarian attack of current politics. The author, an early editor at National Lampoon, takes on weighty topics like the Bill of Rights, climate change, health care reform, government bailouts, and foreign policy. When he wants to be serious, he quotes from John Locke and Thomas Hobbes; when he wants to be humorous, he brings up Joe Biden and Harry Reid. Republicans get a free ride mostly; if the subject is accumulation of power, Nancy Pelosi tops Dick Cheney. O'Rourke admits he's not a deep thinker, which is why when it comes to stem-cell research, he simply accepts that the dogma of his Catholicism clashes with scientific claims. But without further investigation, he embraces former president Bush's opposition to the research and lambastes president Obama ("damn wrong") for overturning the ban. When all else fails, use a dictionary definition, and O'Rourke breaks out his Webster's more than once. He works hard to lard his arguments with humor, but like much partisan work, these essays are best appreciated by those who already believe. (Sept.)
AcknowledgementsApologia Pro !%@& SuaPART I THE SEX, DEATH, AND BOREDOM THEORY OF POLITICS1 Kill Fuck Marry 52 Politics Makes Us Free---And We're Worth It 93 A Digression on Happiness 254 The Happy Realization That All Freedoms Are Economic Freedoms (And Failure Is an Option) 355 The Murderous Perverted Nuptial Bliss Method of Establishing Political Principles 496 The Purgatory of Freedom and the Hell of Politics 637 Morality in Politics---And What's It Doing in There? 838 Taxes 979 More Taxes 10310 Being Penny-Wise 107PART II WHAT IS TO BE DONE?1 The U.S.S. Thresher Bailout and the Washing-Machine-for-Her-Birthday Stimulus Plan 1172 And While We're at It 1253 Generation Vex 1294 Health Care Reform 1335 Climate Change 1496 The End of the American Automobile Industry 1517 The Trade Imbalance 1598 Gun Control 1659 Campaign Finance Reform 16910 Terrorism 17711 Foreign Policy 18512 Foreign Policy, Part Two---It Keeps Getting More Foreign 191PART III PUTTING OUR BIG, FAT POLITICAL ASS ON A DIET1 Why I'm Right 2052 Where the Right Went Wrong 2193 A Digression on Shouting at Each Other 2334 The Next Big Stink 2435 The Fix Is In 2516 All Hands on Deck 269
\ From Barnes & NobleConservative political humorist P.J. O'Rourke flourishes in adversity. Whether he's making fun of Americans' unwillingness to contemplate the realities of foreign policy (Peace Kills) or flogging the institutions of the U.S. government (Parliament of Whores), this wily satirist thrives most when he can hurl his darts at subjects in power. His Don't Vote, It Just Encourages the Bastards exhibits O'Rourke in full throttle, uproarious splendor. In its pages, he presents a skeptical theory of politics that libertarian-leaning readers will especially relish.\ \ \ \ \ \ Publishers WeeklyO'Rourke (On the Wealth of Nations) continues his libertarian attack of current politics. The author, an early editor at National Lampoon, takes on weighty topics like the Bill of Rights, climate change, health care reform, government bailouts, and foreign policy. When he wants to be serious, he quotes from John Locke and Thomas Hobbes; when he wants to be humorous, he brings up Joe Biden and Harry Reid. Republicans get a free ride mostly; if the subject is accumulation of power, Nancy Pelosi tops Dick Cheney. O'Rourke admits he's not a deep thinker, which is why when it comes to stem-cell research, he simply accepts that the dogma of his Catholicism clashes with scientific claims. But without further investigation, he embraces former president Bush's opposition to the research and lambastes president Obama ("damn wrong") for overturning the ban. When all else fails, use a dictionary definition, and O'Rourke breaks out his Webster's more than once. He works hard to lard his arguments with humor, but like much partisan work, these essays are best appreciated by those who already believe. (Sept.)\ \
