Fatherhood for Gay Men: An Emotional and Practical Guide to Becoming a Gay Dad
Get the inside story on a single gay man's struggle to adopt!\ Fatherhood for Gay Men: An Emotional and Practical Guide to Becoming a Gay Dad is the story of one man's journey down the road less traveled—a single gay man adopting and raising his two sons. Author Kevin McGarry recounts his passage into parenthood after years of having his natural fathering instincts stifled by the limits—real and perceived—of being gay. This unique book details the emotional, financial, practical, and social...
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Get the inside story on a single gay man's struggle to adopt!Fatherhood for Gay Men: An Emotional and Practical Guide to Becoming a Gay Dad is the story of one man's journey down the road less traveled—a single gay man adopting and raising his two sons. Author Kevin McGarry recounts his passage into parenthood after years of having his natural fathering instincts stifled by the limits—real and perceived—of being gay. This unique book details the emotional, financial, practical, and social realities of the adoption process for gay men.From the author: "We take risks by coming out of the closet as gay men and at the end of the day, we are emotionally happier because we took those risks. By coming out, we are being true to who we are. The same goes for anyone, gay or straight, who has gut instincts for parenthood. I knew over the years that I had parenting instincts because I had this incredible envy of other dads. I would watch them with their kids and wish that somehow, I could have that role. It was painful at times because being gay, I didn't think parenting was in my life plan. Had more role models been available to me, the process would have been a little less difficult."Much more than a “how-to” guide to adoption, Fatherhood for Gay Men is the personal account of a single gay man's struggle to become a father despite the real and imagined limitations of being a gay man. The book looks at the adoption process (domestic and international) from the inside, providing unique insight into: conducting a homestudy costs (fees and expenses) what countries allow men to adopt alternatives to adoption life as a new parent online resources and a state-by-state review of adoption laws, categorized by “Completely Legal,” “Favorable Climate,” “Mixed Success,” and “Illegal” The book also includes results of the 2000 study by Gillian Dunne, senior researcher for the London School of Economics Gender Institute, of 100 gay fathers and fathers-to-be. “Fatherhood for Gay Men: An Emotional and Practical Guide to Becoming a Gay Dad is a heartfelt and heartwarming story of a father's refusal to be denied a family.Visit the Author's Web site at http://www.fatherhoodforgaymen.com Author of Fool's Errand and Endangered Species - Louis Bayard I only regret that Kevin McGarry's honest, searching, and comprehensive guide wasn't around when my partner and I were adopting. For readers embarking on their own parenting adventure, this book is A MOTHER LODE OF INSIDE KNOWLEDGE and, equally important, A WELLSPRING OF HOPE. It's a book written from and to the heart.
ForewordPrefaceCh. 1Closet Daddy1Ch. 2Sacrifices and Trade-Offs - Kids versus Corvettes9Ch. 3My Journey to Vietnam15Ch. 4Being a Gay Dad31Ch. 5The Adoption Process41Ch. 6How I Chose Vietnam - Destiny's Children53Ch. 7The Bottom Line - How Much Will It Cost?57Ch. 8The Current Laws on Gay Parenting in Each State61Ch. 9Other Ways of Becoming a Gay Dad67Ch. 10Big Decisions71Ch. 11Preparing for Life with a Baby or Child75Ch. 12How to Avoid Problems and What to Do if They Arise83Ch. 13My Decision to Adopt Again87Ch. 14Life with Kids99Afterword103App.: Helpful Web Sites and Listservs105
\ American BoyzA slim but information-packed book whose time has definitely come: THE DEFINITIVE GUIDE TO ADOPTING CHILDREN IF YOU'RE A GAY MAN OR A GAY COUPLE. . . . Includes an appendix of useful Web sites and listservs as well as a state-by-state guide to the legalities of single gay adoption and gay second-parent adoption across the country.\ \ \ \ \ Bob PageBy taking a progressive approach, McGarry OFFERS VERY REALISTIC INSIGHT INTO THE THINKING AND THE PROCESSES INVOLVED IN BECOMING A GAY DAD IN TODAY'S SOCIETY. In walking the reader through the various stages of his adoptions in a foreign country, McGarry provides an emotional and practical picture of what one can expect as well as the eventual triumphs that occur as one begins and passes through the journey of forming a family. This book would have been a tremendous help in dealing with the various starts and stops awaiting us in our adoption process.\ —Founder and CEO, Replacements, Ltd., and Dale Frederiksen, Vice-President of Product Information, Replacements, Ltd.\ \ \ Louis BayardI only regret that Kevin McGarry's honest, searching, and comprehensive guide wasn't around when my partner and I were adopting. For readers embarking on their own parenting adventure, this book is A MOTHER LODE OF INSIDE KNOWLEDGE and, equally important, A WELLSPRING OF HOPE. It's a book written from and to the heart.\ —Author of Fool's Errand and Endangered Species\ \ \ \ \ Out MagazineInspired to be a parent? Turn to this book.\ \ \ \ \ Library JournalAfter adopting two Vietnamese infants, McGarry, a gay single man, felt the need to let other gay men know that parenting is possible for them, too. Chapter 1, "Closet Daddy," is an insightful reflection on parental instincts that gays often deny because of their community lifestyle or societal prejudices. The book goes on to cover the various elements of international adoptions: home study, countries that allow single men to adopt, cost, the current law in each state regarding gay parenting, how to prepare for the baby's arrival, and so on. When chronicling his trips to Vietnam to adopt his sons, McGarry uses diary extracts that are riveting and emotional. Unfortunately, the book suffers from many repetitions and, in some cases, contradictions. In "What Countries Allow Single Men," the author lists Cambodia, whereas the preceding chapter does not mention Cambodia in its discussion of the same list. As the book is only 107 pages, such oversights are unforgivable. Jean Nelson-Erichsen and Heino Erichsen's How To Adopt Internationally, revised earlier this year, covers the adoption process in greater detail, whereas Jesse Green's The Velveteen Father addresses fatherhood for gay men with more substance. An optional purchase for larger public libraries or where gay literature is in high demand.-Maryse Breton, Davis Branch Lib., CA Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information.\ \
