Final Journeys: A Practical Guide for Bringing Care and Comfort at the End of Life
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For more than two decades, hospice nurse Maggie Callanan has tended to the terminally ill and been a cornerstone of support for their loved ones. Now the coauthor of the classic bestseller Final Gifts passes along the lessons she has learned from the experts—her patients. Here is the guide we all need to understanding the special needs of the dying and those who care for them. From supporting a husband or wife faced with the loss of a spouse to helping a dying mother prepare her children to carry on without her, Callanan’s poignant stories illustrate new ways to meet the physical, emotional, and spiritual challenges of this difficult and precious time. She brings welcome clarity to medical and ethical concerns, explaining what to expect at every stage.Designed to be your companion, resource, and advocate from diagnosis through the final hours, Final Journeys will help you keep the lines of communication open, get the help you need, and create the peaceful end we all hope for. Dick Maxwell Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. - School Library Journal Callanan (coauthor, Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs, and Communications of the Dying) has worked for more than 25 years as a hospice nurse; here, she aims to offer the dying and those close to them practical advice grounded in that experience. Interspersing stories from her work and life, she examines such topics as potential family conflicts, ethical dilemmas faced by health-care workers, and the various stages of the grieving process. She emphasizes that the terminally ill should be listened to with care and compassion and that their right to comfort should not be overlooked in sometimes futile attempts to prolong life. She also stresses the need for early discussion of end-of-life issues and the documentation of any decisions reached. The advice is unblinking and useful, but it is surrounded by an excess of fairly artificial re-created dialogs. Further, some readers might find the forays into subjects like afterlife communication to be at odds with the goal of providing useful and practical advice. Dennis McCullough's My Mother, Your Mother: Embracing "Slow Medicine," the Compassionate Approach to Caring for Your Aging Loved Onesoffers similar information. Recommended for large public libraries.
Introduction: "I Don't Know How to Do This" 1Reframing the Journey 7"Tools, Not Tissues" 9"Don't Tell Mom She's Dying. It'll Kill Her!" 18Breaking the Silence 24"We're Not Giving Up! We Have Hope!" 31"Only the Best for My Father" 38"I Don't Know... My Doctor Has My Records" 44Making Difficult Decisions 49The Right to Be Comfortable: Choosing Palliative Care 51"I'm Dying! Of Course I'm in Pain!": Expert Pain and Symptom Control 56Choosing Treatments-and Knowing Which Are Optional 63It's Hard Enough to Die Once: Deciding About a Do-Not-Resuscitate Order 73"We Can't Just Let Him Starve to Death!": Deciding About Artificial Nutrition 81Making Ethical Decisions 92Sharing the Journey 99"I Love You, Mom, and I Want to Help, but I'm Not Moving to Miami!" 101Listen to Your Body 108Family of Birth, Family of Choice 113How Friends Can Help 118When Little Eyes Are Watching 127People Die as They Live-Intensified 135Avoiding Potholes 139Tripping over YourRoots-and Crashing into the Family Tree 141"Whose Death Is It, Anyway?" 145Finding Power in a Powerless Situation 152Caregiving in a Wounded Relationship 157Understanding Cultural Differences 165The Importance of Spiritual Influences 176Don't Let the Dying See You Cry- and Other Myths 184Long Road ... Getting Weary 193"I Could Die Laughing" 195Memory Making 202"It Feels Like We're Losing Her Before She Dies!" 212Our Pets May Know More than We Do 216The "Final Gifts" of Nearing Death Awareness 222Communicating Without Words 234Coming to the End 239What's Normal for Dying Isn't Normal 241"It-All-Goes-to-Hell-in-a-Handbasket Day" 254Being with, Not at, the Dying Person 260"I Need Your Permission to Go" 268The Final Hours 274One Journey Ends, Another Begins 279On the Toll Road: The Healing Power of Crying 281Doing the Grief Work, Day by Day 285"When I Think of Granddad, I Feel Lonely in My Throat": How Children Grieve 291"For a Moment I Could Small Mom's Perfume" 303Appendices 309Your Strongest Tools Are Made of Paper: Advance Directives 311The Dying Person's Bill of Rights 319The Hospice Medicare Benefit 321Recommended Reading and Resources 325Acknowledgments 333About the Author 337
