Fired!: Tales of the Canned, Canceled, Downsized, and Dismissed
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Rejection has never been so hilarious! After her role in a Woody Allen play was rethought, actress Annabelle Gurwitch (TBS Dinner and a Movie) was devastated. Then, she got funny. Gurwitch and a revolving cast of fellow show-biz veterans share their stories when L.A. Theatre Works records Fired: Tales of Jobs Gone Bad. Publishers Weekly Gurwitch's popular Web site (www.firedbyannabellegurwitch.com) entices people to turn in their best tales of their worst firings; the cream of that crop is gathered in this star-studded collection of misery. The book is divided into chapters with titles like "The Job So Terrible You Can Only Hope to Be Fired" and "The Time You Deserved to Be Fired," but mostly it's just tales of horrible things happening to funny people. Gurwitch's own piece-in which she's canned from her role in a play written and directed by an officious Woody Allen, who told her "You look retarded"-is par for the course, with its droll humor and dash of celebrity. Comedians Bill Maher, D.L. Hughley, Bob Saget and Andy Borowitz all get in their zingers, while Illeana Douglas composes a poem that ranges from getting fired as a coat check girl ("How is it/possible to be fired hanging coats?/I have arms. I know what coats are") to high farce with borderline psychotic filmmakers. The few noncelebrities invited to share their woes are generally less funny, though they tend to be more unpredictable, such as the ex-White House chef who provides a nice recipe for seared scallops. (Mar. 7) Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.
ContentsIntroductionWho Came Up with the Phrase "You're fired"?Chapter 1: The Job So Terrible You Can Only Hope to Be FiredThat's a Fact by Andy BorowitzThe Big Red Shoe Diaries by Paul FeigBimmy in Training by Larry CharlesThe Snuggery by Eric GillilandBruce Cameron Remodels Your RedundancyDon't Call Me, I'll Call You by Judy GoldPoor Judgment by Illeana DouglasNumber One Pooper-Scooper by Robert ReichNesting by Jessica van der ValkWhen Children Fire You by Ian GomezChapter 2: The Firing You Didn't See ComingThe Little Fuck That Could by Sandra Tsing LohExtra! Extra! by Brian UngerSchadenfreude by Anne MearaSent to Cyberia by Lori GottliebHarry Shearer Minds His Credibility GapFired by the Queen and Dumped by Trump by Joyce BeberFelicity Huffman on Popping Your CherryDead Man Working by Jason KravitsThe Do-Bee by Martha McCullyDavid Cross Might Just Be Too BigMauve by Jack MerrillFried by Hillary CarlipOne of Them Stories by Tate DonovanSteak Today by Wildman WeinerSubstandard Performance by AnonymousDahling, It's Eva Gabor by Glenn RosenblumChapter 3: The Time You Deserved to Be FiredVideo, Video by Paul F. TompkinsShort Ends by Jonathan GroffCrimes and Mythdemeanors by Annabelle GurwitchThat Garlin Boy: An Interview with Jeff GarlinRight On! by Jill SolowayFriendless by Fisher StevensBill Maher: Warm Body Telling JokesThe Postman Never Rings Twice by Richard ColburnBa-looney Tunes by Matt WalshGrrl Genius Gets Canned by Cathryn MichonAll Those Parts by ShirleyGurwitchChapter 4: The Time Getting Fired Leads You to Something BetterPatricia Heaton Hopes You Enjoy Your StayJimmy the Idiot by Dana GouldThe World's Worst Waiter by Jeff KahnI'll Knock Your Block Off by Andy DickBob Saget Doesn't Sit Here AnymoreCan You Get Fired If You Aren't Being Paid? by Morgan SpurlockI Was the Master by Tim AllenMadison Scare Garden by Elizabeth WarnerD. L. Hughley: Lot and Lobby to Late NightNo Shirt, No Shoes, No Service by Maxine LapidussBut We'd Love to Work with You Again by Judd ApatowShock and Remorse by Lilly AndersonChapter 5 The Time You Had to Fire YourselfA Thoroughly Modern Firing by Tonya PinkinsRemembrance of Porn Past by Scott CarterLast Shift at the Fetish Deli by Mark Haskell SmithAttractive in a Bad Way by Rob CohenCappi's Pizza and Sangweech Shop by Carl CapotortoNo More Rain Days by Janet M. LorenzRecipe for the Recently Redundant by Walter ScheibThe Fired Song by Roy ZimmermanThe Letter You Wish You'd Sent to Your Boss! Now You Can!NotesAcknowledgments