Get Your Tongue out of My Mouth, I'm Kissing You Good-Bye!
Described by the Chicago Tribune as "perhaps our funniest war correspondent on the war between the sexes," Cynthia Heimel reminds us, with this collection, how much we truly need her. Her advice, administered forcefully and forever accompanied by fits of laughter, guides us, and sometimes just shoves us, through the maelstrom of our times. Where else can a woman find such expert dating advice as: "Never believe a person is interested until you feel his tongue down your throat"? Naturally. Get...
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Described by the Chicago Tribune as "perhaps our funniest war correspondent on the war between the sexes," Cynthia Heimel reminds us, with this collection, how much we truly need her. Her advice, administered forcefully and forever accompanied by fits of laughter, guides us, and sometimes just shoves us, through the maelstrom of our times. Where else can a woman find such expert dating advice as: "Never believe a person is interested until you feel his tongue down your throat." Naturally. Get Your Tongue Out of My Mouth, I'm Kissing You Good-bye! is her soothing antidote to this absurd world for smart, sane, and, of course, fantastically cool women. Library Journal It's no surprise that the author of If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet ? ( LJ 4/15/91), Sex Tips for Girls ( LJ 6/15/83), and But Enough About You (S. & S., 1986) has come up with another snappy eyebrow-raising title. Her brief essays here reflect the same satirical feminist wit that graces the pages of the Village Voice and Playboy magazine. Among the weighty issues Heimel tackles are boyfriends (``a woman needs a man like a fish needs a net''), dysfunctional family values (``PBS would be bankrupt if its fund-raisers didn't feature hours of John Bradshaw explaining to sobbing audiences how our families fill us with toxic shame and make it impossible for us to have anything other than lives of agony''), and living in L.A. (``Out here I have a car, and I don't know if anyone in Manhattan knows this, but a car is just a moving, giant handbag!''). Brash, hip, and very, very funny, Heimel is essential for all humor collections. Previewed in Prepub Alert, LJ 2/1/93.-- Wilda Williams, ``Library Journal''
Foreword1Introduction5Feminist RantsBoyfriends: Why?13I Wish I Were a Lesbian16Names Are Us20Horribly Ever After24Middle-aged Loony27Family ValuesMy Dog, Myself37Dysfunctional Family Values40Condensed Diary of a Single Mother43Mothers: The Bad and the Terrible47Birth Control: The Facts51The Baby Machine55A Doctor in the House58The TimesBig Brother Is Us71She Asked for It?74Woody, We Hardly Knew Ye78The Great Telephone Answering Machine Conspiracy81Rich People: Blow Me84My Theory of Evolution87How to Be Creative90ShoppingWhat's a Crone to Wear?101The Goddess Regime104Full-contact Christmas Shopping107Fashion in Crisis110Battle of the SexesWhat's Guy to Do?119The Female Animal123Time: Killer or Joker?127Gay Blades131Aging: Fact or Fiction?135Asking for Trouble139Chasing Children143L.A.Welcome to the Earth Moving155Strung Out in the Big Orange159Jay and Me162Schizo165Dances with Oscar169La La Land Under Siege172
\ Library JournalIt's no surprise that the author of If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet ? ( LJ 4/15/91), Sex Tips for Girls ( LJ 6/15/83), and But Enough About You (S. & S., 1986) has come up with another snappy eyebrow-raising title. Her brief essays here reflect the same satirical feminist wit that graces the pages of the Village Voice and Playboy magazine. Among the weighty issues Heimel tackles are boyfriends (``a woman needs a man like a fish needs a net''), dysfunctional family values (``PBS would be bankrupt if its fund-raisers didn't feature hours of John Bradshaw explaining to sobbing audiences how our families fill us with toxic shame and make it impossible for us to have anything other than lives of agony''), and living in L.A. (``Out here I have a car, and I don't know if anyone in Manhattan knows this, but a car is just a moving, giant handbag!''). Brash, hip, and very, very funny, Heimel is essential for all humor collections. Previewed in Prepub Alert, LJ 2/1/93.-- Wilda Williams, ``Library Journal''\ \
