How to Make Love to a Plastic Cup: A Guy's Guide to the World of Infertility
Greg Wolfe went through four cycles of IVF on his rocky journey to fatherhood-and now, with profound sympathy and side-splitting humor, he lays it all out for guys on similar baby-making quests. How to Make Love to a plastic Cup is not your typical nuts and bolts (no pun intended) medical guide but a helpful handbook designed specifically with the male partner in mind, with answers to his most pressing questions about the infertility process, including:\ Why are boxers better than briefs?\...
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The man's guide to anything and everything in the infertility universe Greg Wolfe went through four cycles of IVF on his rocky journey to fatherhood—and now, with profound sympathy and side-splitting humor, he lays it all out for guys on similar baby-making quests. How to Make Love to a Plastic Cup is not your typical nuts and bolts (no pun intended) medical guide but a helpful handbook designed specifically with the male partner in mind, with answers to his most pressing questions about the infertility process, including: Why are boxers better than briefs? How can hamsters help determine what's wrong with my sperm? My wife's already moody enough—why am I injecting her with even more hormones? Is it necessary for me to fill the whole cup at the fertility clinic? From understanding a woman's cycle to "porn etiquette" at the clinic, How to Make Love to a Plastic Cup has everything a man needs to know to get the job done! Publishers Weekly Although infertility is no laughing matter for most couples, screenwriter Wolfe, writing from personal experience, turns it into a one-night standup act in which words such as "follicular" and "luteal" become punch lines to wink-and-nudge stories. With chapter titles such as "It's not over till it's ova," "sperm-a-lot," and ""what a prick!" Wolfe tries to lead men through the maze of medical terminology and procedures designed to overcome infertility. For example, he provides step-by-step instructions on how to inject your wife with fertility drugs, and he offers advice ("prepare to chafe, badly"; "you don't have to fill the whole cup"; how to deposit one's sperm in an IVF clinic). Wolfe's need to make a joke out of every little step along the way grows quickly tiresome and precious and regrettably ends up making too much light of a serious issue. (Sept.)
Foreword viiAuthor's Note ixIntroduction xi1 Begin by Putting Tab "A" into Slot "B" 12 Basic Biology for Complete and Utter Dummies (No Offense) 73 You Need to know about this...Period 214 Let's All Play the Blame Game! 395 Great. Now What the Hell are we Supposed to do? 556 IVF: It's very Frustrating! 717 Sperm-A-Lot 1098 Real Men Don't Cry (However, they do Sometimes Quietly Sob into Their Pillows) 1239 What a Prick! 13510 Okay, Seriously, This $#!% Ain't Working! 16111 Re: Your Choice of Fertility Doctor 17312 So Will you be using Cash, Credit, or your Home Equity Line? 18713 Finally!! 199Afterword: Aka "Post-Partum Impressions" 211Acknowledgments 215Glossary 217Endnotes 231Index 233
\ Publishers WeeklyAlthough infertility is no laughing matter for most couples, screenwriter Wolfe, writing from personal experience, turns it into a one-night standup act in which words such as "follicular" and "luteal" become punch lines to wink-and-nudge stories. With chapter titles such as "It's not over till it's ova," "sperm-a-lot," and ""what a prick!" Wolfe tries to lead men through the maze of medical terminology and procedures designed to overcome infertility. For example, he provides step-by-step instructions on how to inject your wife with fertility drugs, and he offers advice ("prepare to chafe, badly"; "you don't have to fill the whole cup"; how to deposit one's sperm in an IVF clinic). Wolfe's need to make a joke out of every little step along the way grows quickly tiresome and precious and regrettably ends up making too much light of a serious issue. (Sept.)\ \ \ \ \ Toni Weschler"Who knew? A book about the challenges of infertility that is so funny that at times it’s an actual page-turner!... A work that will undoubtedly make the journey to parenthood that much easier, if not downright funnier, for scores of couples lucky enough to have discovered [it]."\ \
