I'm Too Young to Be Seventy: And Other Delusions
The beloved bestselling author of Forever Fifty and Suddenly Sixty tackles the ins and outs of becoming a septuagenarian with her usual wry good humor.
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The beloved bestselling author of Forever Fifty and Suddenly Sixty now tackles the ins and outs of becoming a septuagenarian with her usual wry good humor.Fans of Judith Viorst's funny, touching, and wise poems about turning thirty, forty, fifty, and sixty will love this new volume for the woman who deeply believes she is too young to be seventy, "too young in my heart and my soul, if not in my thighs."Viorst explores, among the many other issues of this stage of life, the state of our sex lives and teeth, how we can stay married though thermostatically incompatible, and the joys of grandparenthood and shopping. Readers will nod with rueful recognition when she asks, "Am I required to think of myself as a basically shallow woman because I feel better when my hair looks good?," when she presses a few helpful suggestions on her kids because "they may be middle aged, but they're still my children," and when she graciously — but not too graciously — selects her husband's next mate in a poem deliciously subtitled "If I Should Die Before I Wake, Here's the Wife You Next Should Take." Though Viorst acknowledges she is definitely not a good sport about the fact that she is mortal, her poems are full of the pleasures of life right now, helping us come to terms with the passage of time, encouraging us to keep trying to fix the world, and inviting us to consider "drinking wine, making love, laughing hard, caring hard, and learning a new trick or two as part of our job description at seventy."I'm Too Young to Be Seventy is a joy to read and makes a heartwarming gift for anyone who has reached or is soon to reach that — it'snot so bad after all — seventh decade.
As Time Goes By\ \ I wake up on Monday,\ Eat lunch on Wednesday,\ Go to sleep on Friday,\ And next thing I know it's\ The middle of next week\ And I am shaking mothballs\ Out of the winter clothes\ I stored for the summer\ Five minutes ago,\ Because snowstorms follow\ The Fourth of July\ Faster than faxes,\ Faster than e-mail,\ Faster, maybe, than the speed of light.\ You want to slow down time?\ Try root canal.\ Try an MRI.\ Try waiting for the report on the biopsy.\ Or try being a child on a rainy morning\ With nothing to do,\ Wishing away the hours, the days, the years,\ As if there will\ Always\ Always\ Always\ Be more.\ Copyright © 2005 by Judith Viorst
ContentsAt SeventyAt SeventyErotic OptionsTeethHmmmRe: VisionAs Time Goes BySoul-SearchingStill MarriedThe Secret of Staying MarriedNot Merely His Life CompanionBody HeatWhy Marriage Was InventedAt the OperaIn the Middle of the NightSome of the Reasons I Love to Go to the MoviesTo My Husband When He Starts Contemplating Remarriage or If I Should Die Before I Wake, Here's the Wife You Next Should TakeThe Children and GrandchildrenThey May Be Middle Aged, But They're Still My ChildrenGranddaughterNew Kid Around the HouseNamesakesA Letter to My Sons About Mother's DayWhat Do We Tell the Children?Role ReversalThe Sixth GrandchildThe Rest of ItNervousToo Young to Be SeventyKeynesian EconomicsIf We Stopped TryingOn Not Being a Good Sport About the Fact That I'm Going to Die One of These DaysAt the AirportStill Dieting After All These YearsThe Rest of It
