Jewish Insights on Death and Mourning
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As Jack Riemer demonstrates in this collection of Jewish resources for mourning and healing, the Jewish tradition has much to offer those who seek its help in time of need. Here are personal as well as practical writings by contemporary authors about the Shivah period, Kaddish, Yizkor, Yahrzeit, and less familiar practices to honor the dead and comfort the living. Some writers describe new rituals that were created to fill special needs. Others raise questions about the tradition: Do Jews believe in an afterlife? How do we mourn the stillborn child? Should we always strive to prolong life? Reflections on these and other issues related to death and dying make this an indispensable resource for coping with some of life's most difficult and sacred moments.
AcknowledgmentsxiForewordxvPrefacexixIntroduction: Jewish Insights on Death3Part 1Answers211.What I Have Learned from Illness23To Wake Up in the Hospital Early in the Morning24Coronary Connections: From a Hospital, Some Secrets of the Heart Revealed24A Wake-up Call33In Praise of Denial35A Small Miracle Happened Here37Charlie and the Angel of Death402.When Death Arrives48Like Removing a Hair from Milk49Rabbi Salanter's Last Night49Prelude50The Power of Music at the End51Should We Tell the Patient the Truth?57Let Them Know What You Want59The Traditional Vidui61Kayla's Prayer62Saying Goodbye68Letting Go73A Prayer for Health-Care Providers to Offer When a Patient Dies783.Hevra Kadisha: The Holy Society81A Sacred Duty82The Burial Society83How Tradition Brought One Community to Life92Bubby's Last Gift1014.The Burial108What Rabban Gamliel Did108The Funeral of Franz Josef109Suggestions to Those Who Plan My Funeral110A Rabbi's Ethical Will113No Burden Too Heavy118Keri'ah: The Tearing of the Garment121Why Bury?124How We Bury126Why No Viewing127Why in Tachrichim?127Why Stones Instead of Flowers?128Ha-Makom Yenahem: The Place Gives Comfort1305.Shivah141The First Meal142The Therapeutic Function of Shivah142Who's the Host? Who's the Guest?151The Art of Making a Shivah Call152The Shivah Minyan157Covering Mirrors161Why Psalm 49?161Knitting Up the Tear1636.Kaddish168When Death Comes168A Commentary on the Kaddish169Going to Shul172A Year of Grieving, A Year of Growing174Saying Kaddish: The Making of a "Regular,"1777.The Year and After183The Law Sets the Limits184The Five Stages of Grief184Shloshim: The First Thirty Days After Burial186A Way to Mark Shloshim191Yizkor: The Unending Conversation194I Am Older Now: A Yahrzeit Candle Lit at Home198After the Year, What?200Diary of a Young Widow: A Work in Progress207In Many Houses219Name220Part 2Questions2218.Is Euthanasia Permitted?223Laws Concerning One in a Dying Condition224Rabbi Yehudah's Handmaiden224The Maggid Rediscovers Music225I Want a Choice225Final Entrance229Long-Term Dignity233On Choosing the Hour of Our Death237Death with Dignity vs. Euthanasia244Not Through Yet2579.How Shall We Mourn the Stillborn?260A Yizkor Prayer for Stillborn and Infant Deaths261I Lost a Child But Did Not Mourn Her262Neonatal Death265Baby Brother's Gone to Heaven268Three Responses to Miscarriage271Faith Learns to Fill a Need27710.How Does One Survive the Loss of Children?280The Story of Rabbi Meir and Beruriah283Plutarch to His Wife After the Loss of Their Child284Not on Merit, But on Mazal284We Will Get Better, We Must Get Better285On Being the Kaddish297Firepower in Mitzvot30411.Do We Believe in an Afterlife?309In the World-to-Come311The Birth311The Ship313Is There Life After Death?313Permission to Believe328The Here and the Hereafter335The Fate of the Soul338Love As Strong As Death348Where Does It End?35212.What Do We Need Death For?354Contributors361Permissions Acknowledgments369
