Knocked out by My Nunga-Nungas (Confessions of Georgia Nicolson Series #3)

Knocked Out by My Nunga-Nungas MOBoctober\ return of the loonleader\ \ thursday october 21st\ my room\ \ 1:00 p.m.\ Looking out of my bedroom window, counting my unblessings. Raining. A lot. It's like living fully dressed in a pond.\ And I am the prisoner of whatsit.\ I have to stay in my room pretending to have tummy lurgy so that Dad will not know I am an ostracized leper banned from Stalag 14 (i.e., suspended from school). I'm not alone in my room, though, because my cat, Angus, is also under house arrest for his love romps with Naomi the Burmese sex kitten.\ 2:00 p.m.\ They'll be doing P.E. now.\ I never thought the day would come when I would long to hear Miss Stamp (Sports Oberführer and part-time lesbian) say, "Right, girls, into your P.E. knickers!"\ But it has.\ 3:30 p.m.\ All the ace gang will be thinking about the walk home from school. Applying a touch of lippy. A hint of nail polish. Maybe even mascara because it is R.E. and Miss Wilson can't even control her tragic seventies hairdo let alone a class. Rosie said she was going to test Miss Wilson's sanity by giving herself a face mask in class and seeing if Miss Wilson had a nervy spaz.\ Jas will be practicing her pouting in case she bumps into Tom.\ 3:50 p.m.\ How come Jas got off with cloakroom duty and I got banned? I am a whatsit . . . a scapethingy.\ 4:10 p.m.\ Robbie the Sex God (MY NEW BOYFRIEND!!! Yesss and three times yesss!!!!!) will be going home now. Walking along in a Sex Goddy sort of way. A walking snogging machine.\ 4:30p.m.\ Mutti came in. "Right, you can start making your startling recovery now, Georgia."\ Oh cheers. Thanks a lot. Good night.\ Just because Elvis Attwood, school caretaker from the Planet of the Loons, tripped over his own wheelbarrow (when I told him Jas was on fire), I am banned from school.\ Mutti rambled on, although she makes very little sense since Vati got home. "It's your own fault. You antagonize him and now you are paying the price."\ Yeah, yeah, rave on.\ 4:45 p.m.\ Phoned Jas.\ "Jas."\ "Oh hi, Gee."\ "Why didn't you phone me?"\ "You're phoning me. I would have got the engaged tone."\ "Jas, please don't annoy me. I've only been speaking to you for two seconds."\ "I'm not annoying you."\ "Wrong."\ "Well, I've only said about two words to you."\ "That's enough."\ Silence.\ "Jas."\ Silence.\ "Jas, what are you doing?"\ "I'm not annoying you."\ She drives me to the brink of madnosity. Still, I really needed to speak to her so I went on, "It's really crap at home. I almost wish I hadn't been banned from school. How was Stalag fourteen? Any goss?"\ "No, just the usual. Nauseating P. Green smashed a chair to smithereens and back."\ "Really?! Was she fighting with it?"\ "No, she was sitting on it having her lunch. It was the jumbo-sized Mars bar that did it. Everyone was killing themselves laughing. The Bummer Twins started singing 'Who ate all the pies' to her, but Slim, our beloved headmistress, heard them and gave us a lecture about mocking the unfortunate."\ "Were her chins going all jelloid?"\ "Yeah. In fact, it was Chin City."\ "Fantastic. Are you all missing me? Did anyone talk about me or anything?"\ "No, not really."\ Charming. Jas has a lot of good qualities though, qualities you need in a bestest pal. Qualities like, for instance, going out with the brother of a Sex God. I said, "Has Hunky, I mean, Tom, mentioned anything that Robbie has said about me?"\ "Erm . . . let me think."\ Then there was this slurp-slurp noise.\ She was making slurping noises.\ "Jas, what are you eating?"\ "I'm sucking my pen top so I can think better."\ Sacré bloody bleu, I have got le idiot for a pal. Forty-nine centuries of pen sucking later she said, "No, he hasn't said anything."\ 7:00 p.m.\ Why hasn't Robbie mentioned me? Hasn't he got snogging withdrawal?\ 8:00 p.m.\ I can hear Vati singing "If I Ruled the World." Good Lord. I have only just recovered from a very bad bout of pretend lurgy. He has no consideration for others.\ 8:05 p.m.\ The worsterosity of it is that the Loonleader (my vati) has returned from Kiwi-a-gogo land and I thought he would be there for ages. But sadly life was against me and he has returned. Not content with that, he has insisted we all go to Och Aye land to "bond" on a family holiday.\ However . . . nananana and who-gives-two-short-flying-pigs'-botties? Because I live in Love Heaven.\ Lalalalalalala.\ I am the girlfriend of a Sex God!!\ 8:15 p.m.\ The Sex God said I should phone him when I get back from Scotland. But there is a fly in his ointment . . . I am not going to Scotland!!! My plan is this, everyone else goes to Scotland and . . . I don't! Simple enough, I think, for anyone to understand.\ operation explain-brilliant-not-going-to-scotland plan to mutti and vati\ 8:30 p.m.\ The olds were slumped in front of the tv canoodling and drinking wine. They are so childish. I had to leave the room in the end because Dad did this really disgusting thing. They were laughing and grappling about on the sofa and they did number five on the snogging scale (open-mouth kissing). Honestly. I mean it. There might even have been a suggestion of six (tongues). Erlack a pongoes!!!! Libby was there as well. Laughing along. It can't be healthy for a toddler to be exposed to porn.\ Knocked Out by My Nunga-Nungas MOB. Copyright © by Louise Rennison. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.

\ From Barnes & NobleThe Barnes & Noble Review\ Georgia Nicolson -- she is one treble-marvelloso Brit! And she's back with more distinctly hilarious revelations in Knocked Out by My Nunga-Nungas. \ Georgia's always got her lip gloss handy for snogging (that's kissing on her side of the Atlantic); her writing is très magnifique; and her cat, Angus, is gaga over the neighbors' sex kitten, Naomi. In this, the third installment of Georgia's diary, she's snagged Sex God Robbie at last! The only trouble is that she can't find enough snogging time with him, what with her family's trip to Scotland and his being such a busy pop star. But when Georgia feels that the "SG" is being less than attentive to her after a concert, her mind starts to wander a bit -- especially when Dave the Laugh is around. And don't even talk about that GORGEOUS French teacher, Henri! Has Georgia developed a severe case of "red-bottomosity" (think female baboons in the mood)? Will her "nunga-nungas" continue to develop a life of their own? And has Naomi been displaying her own "red-bottomosity" a bit too much?\ In Louise Rennison's book of Georgia's "further, further confessions," the fabbity-fab star tells what she thinks of life, love, friends, and family. She's straightforward and witty, with a charm that's infectious. And don't even think about getting your knickers in a twist about the vocab, because Georgia graciously provides us dim Americans with another glossary of terms. This British invasion is bloody brilliant! (Matt Warner)\ \ \ \ \ \ Publishers Weekly"Readers who became addicted to Georgia's hilarious reflections on adolescence in Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging will not be disappointed with this latest installment, which begins when the heroine must leave her Sex God behind to go on holiday with her family," wrote PW in a starred review. Ages 13-up. (Apr.)n Copyright 2004 Reed Business Information.\ \ \ Children's LiteratureThe hilarious Georgia Nicholson of Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging fame is back, and she's more outrageous than ever. This time, Georgia's having trouble preventing herself from two-timing her Sex God boyfriend, because he's never around, while ex-boyfriend Dave the Laugh seems all too available. Georgia's lack of "maturiosity" and her abundance of "red bottomosity" (which has something to do with female baboons attracting their mates) must be to blame. Thankfully, the British lingo is left in and a glossary for "dim" Americans is provided. Example¾"nunga-nungas¾Basoomas. Girl's breasty business ... if you get hold of a girl's breast and let it go¾it goes nunga-nunga-nunga." Occasionally the wacky and irreverent humor seems forced, but most of it is laugh-out-loud funny and wildly imaginative. Parents of pre-teens may not approve of some of the over-the-top humor, but kids will love every word, and parents may even seize their children's copies for their own secret reading. In that case, they'll note that fourteen-year-old Georgia may talk crazy, but her principles are reasonably solid. Readers enthusiastic about Georgia's first two books won't be disappointed. 2002 (orig. 2001), HarperTempest/HarperCollins, \ — Betty Hicks\ \ \ \ \ VOYAGeorgia Nicolson is back for another round of true confessions about the trials and tribulations of being the girlfriend of a Sex God, having parents who have never been young themselves, and dealing with gal-pals who are sometimes too dim for words. The family is off to Scotland for a vacation, a trip that gives Georgia plenty of topics for complaint. Her return home and subsequent meeting with Robbie, her Sex God, confirms that he is still the best snogger (kisser) in the universe. Georgia's life seems to be going smoothly now. Why then does she allow Dave the Laugh, her friend's boyfriend, to kiss her? Moreover, why in the world does the new biology teacher insist that the class pair off to care for an egg? Isn't this class supposed to be about sex? The lighthearted tone readers have come to expect from the previous novels about Georgia is still present. This third installment, however, does not possess the fresh, breezy style of its predecessors. Georgia's rants seem less like the usual complaints from a teen and more like those of a spoiled child used to having her own way. Her mocking of Scotland and all things Scottish, for example, is more sharp-tongued and scathing than gently funny. There are some hysterically funny scenes still, especially at the end of the novel when Georgia discovers the fate of the egg she has been taking care of for her class at school. The book ends with loads of unanswered questions that can only mean that more sequels are on their way.\ \ \ \ \ KLIATTFrom KLIATT's May 2002 review of the hardcover edition: The irrepressible Georgia is back, and fans of her previous adventures, Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging and On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God, will be delighted. Filled with humor and British slang, the books relate the triumphs and woes of stunningly self-absorbed 15-year-old Georgia in diary form as she struggles with her loony parents, leaky little sister, girlfriends irritatingly obsessed with their own problems rather than Georgia's, ferocious pet cat Angus, and of course boyfriends. In this latest installment Georgia must contend with a family trip to Scotland ("Och-aye land"), her over-large breasts ("nunga-nungas"), and her crushes on her boyfriend ("The Sex God"), an old flame, "Dave the Laugh," and a handsome new French teacher. As my 14-year-old daughter commented, "There isn't a whole lot of plot, but it's fun." There is a glossary at the end to help with the slang (and a helpful reference to the glossary in the front of the book). A wonderfully comic romp, but best for those who have read the prequels. KLIATT Codes: JS—Recommended for junior and senior high school students. 2001, HarperCollins, Avon, 172p., Ages 12 to 18. \ —Paula Rohrlick\ \ \ \ \ School Library JournalThe irreverent voice of Georgia Nicolson is loud and clear in this latest installment from Rennison. Now she is officially the "Girlfriend of a Sex God," and as she tries to settle into that role, she discovers that life is still no less confusing. After "snogging" an old flame, her fidelity might waver. Georgia is a fully fleshed out 15-year-old, preoccupied with herself, impatient with her father and all other authority figures, and mercurial in her attitudes. In other words, she's a girl filled with the insecurities that define adolescence. Readers are usually on her side even though her sensitivity toward others is often lacking. She is most consistently warm toward her little sister, Libby, and this relationship adds a pleasant dimension to her character. There are laugh-out-loud moments and her creative language throughout brings her diary to life. However, her repeated glib comments about lesbianism are unfortunate and unnecessary. Though they may be intended to add humor and honesty to the character and are perhaps reflective of attitudes characteristic of the age group, they do not serve the audience well. This point aside, the novel will no doubt find a wide readership. Rennison once again begins with an explanatory note to her "American chums," and appends a glossary to help them understand some of the British colloquial expressions and Georgia's unique vocabulary. While not much happens in this volume, it seems obvious that further episodes will follow.-Renee Steinberg, Fieldstone Middle School, Montvale, NJ Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information.\ \ \ \ \ Kirkus ReviewsFor those who already know and love Georgia, only one word is necessary: more. For those few who have just returned from Antarctica: here is the third installment in the stream-of-consciousness glimpses into the inner mind of quite conceivably the most self-interested teen in the world. As with the first two novels (Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging, 2000; On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God, 2001), Georgia's own voice, laced with loony British teen-isms, is the raison de read. Rennison consistently displays a near-perfect sense of comic timing and an ear for language that subsumes normal demands for such traditional plot elements as, say, rising and falling action. The plot, such as it is, finds Georgia first stolidly bearing up under the torture of a five-day family holiday in Och-aye Land, where the acme of excitement is hanging out at the 24-hour supermarket with the local boys (known by the collective noun "Jock Mcthick"). Home at last, she turns her attentions to her twin favorite pursuits: makeup and moving up the Snogging Scale with Robbie, the Sex God. This outpouring ends with a real breakthrough in terms of character development: the reader may detect the rudiments of a conscience when Georgia finds herself attracted to both her boyfriend the S.G. and to Dave the Laugh, former red herring and current boyfriend of friend Ellen, when she accidentally snogs him at a dance: "3:05 a.m. Oh God, she is my mate. I am bad bad baddy bad bad. Jesus would never snog his mate's boyfriend. 3:15 a.m. I will probably never be able to sleep again. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz." Will there be any further, further, further confessions? Dancing in My Nuddy-Pants will be published this summer in tea-and-crumpets agogo land-we can hardly wait.\ \