Male to Male: Sexual Feelings Across the Boundaries of Identity
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Explore the feelings of men toward other men without the pigeonholing found in terms like “gay” and “straight”!Male to Male: Sexual Feeling Across the Boundaries of Identity starts with the evidence that most studies on male sexuality have ignored—the same-sex feelings of men whose identities are heterosexual. Of the more than fifty men in this book, almost half were aware of some degree of same-sex feeling. But beyond percentages, the primary focus of Male to Male is the exploration—through their own words—of how these men experienced same-sex feelings, what these feelings meant to them, the fears surrounding them, and the consequences of the collision between their heterosexual identities and their same-sex feelings.In addition to comparative data on women's same-sex feelings, as well as on what men say in regard to their feelings about women, Male to Male includes material from two in-depth case studies. The first is on Clark, an African-American man who moved into sex with men in prison. His story shows that the need to see gay men as feminine is really a cultural defense against the powerful pull toward the male-to-male bond, and points to the movement to fulfill that bond when this defense is dropped. The second is on Zack, a gay police officer. His story explores the different dimensions and meanings of the male-to-male bond as these unfolded in his own life, while telling about the heterosexually identified men who “came out” to him about their own same-sex feelings. Male to Male will help you explore: same-sex feelings in heterosexual men and women same-sex feelings in the military prison culture and the “heterosexual role” the fear of domination the aesthetics of fear and power the dynamics of rape compassionate relationships between heterosexual-identified men . . . and much more!Male to Male provides evidence showing that the identity that really counts—constituting the deepest source from which men's sexual feelings for each other spring—is not specifically a gay or heterosexual identity. That source is, rather, a male identity, and—beyond that—a human identity. SPSMM Bulletin Useful for the clinician who has little knowledge or experience with same-sex relationships. Particularly helpful for clients who struggle with internalized homophobia.
ForewordPrefaceBiological Essentialism, Social Constructionism, and the IndividualThe Individual in Psychological ResearchAcknowledgmentsPart I: Ordinary PeopleChapter 1 The Inner BoundarySame-Sex Feeling in Heterosexual Men and WomenThe Truth Is Out ThereComparisons with WomenThe Institutional CultureSame-Sex Feeling and "Gender Atypicality"Chapter 2 Women at the BoundarySexual Attraction As an Emotional ResponseAvenues of the MindImage and EmotionYour Brain Is an Active ExplorerEmotion As Change in the Body's "Landscape"Sexual Attraction As "Moving Toward"The InvitationAdolescenceChapter 3 "Moving Toward" and ResistanceSethWillSame-Sex Feeling and the MilitaryChapter 4 Men on Men: Image, Emotion, and MeaningThe Image of the Male BodyMen's FearsAdolescence and IdentityCulture—Internalization and "Disidentification"Identity and the Divided SelfMoving Toward FriendsBisexual IdentityThe Class SubcultureThe Emotional FabricNew MovementSpiritual Connections and the Sense of the SacredChapter 5 "Heterosexuality" versus "Moving Toward" WomenNickTonyRussOnenessChapter 6 Emotional PathsColinAlexThe One-to-One BondComparisons with Gay MenPsychological Rock BottomChapter 7: Identity CrisesJohnnyCarlMichaelPart II: ClarkChapter 8: "A Man Like Myself"Sexual IdentityPrison Culture and the Heterosexual RoleThe Fear of DominationThe Image of the Male BodyMovement Through StagesRelating to a Man—As a Man"I See Myself"The Aesthetics of Fear and PowerMale Bonding and Sexual LoveAn Emotional MilestoneStepping Over the Cultural BarrierChapter 9 Movement into a New TerritoryThe Rape dynamicsSex As Dominance and PerformanceThe Top of the LineThe Two Emotions in the RapeThe RapeRejection in RapeRejecting the Rapist Mentality"I Have a Choice"An Expression of LoveChange in Fantasy Life and IdentityMaking Love with a Masculine ManComparisons with WomenMale to MaleRape Dynamics—DissolutionTwinning—Male Self, Male OtherPart III: ZackChapter 10 Cultural Confrontations and IdentityThe Institutional Culture: Early EncountersEarly MovementEarly Adolescent ExplorationsThe Guide DreamDream and MythThe Role of the "Carrier"Rites of PassageJoining the Police ForceSuicide and the False SelfThe Turning PointSelf-Disclosure—FamilySelf-Disclosure—WorkChapter 11 The Color GreenEarly DirectionsThe Color GreenThe Dream of the Color GreenThe Image of the DoubleThe Double in Conrad's The Secret Sharer (ital)Love in the FleshTwo MasculinitiesThe Dream of the Young Man in the CellarThe God of LoveThe Third Meaning of the Dream of the Young Man in the Cellar and the Dreamof the CaveChapter 12 Boundary CrossingsZack As the Double"I Felt I Was Jewish"Fighting with DestinyCompassionate RelationshipsBoundary CrossingsConclusion: Identity and BeyondAppendix: David and JonathanNotesBibliographyIndexReference Notes Included
