My Baby Boomer Baby Book: A Record of Milestones, Millstones & Gallstones
MY FIRST READING GLASSES, MY FIRST GRAY HAIR, MY FIRST COSMETIC SURGERY. . .\ Middle age, like babyhood, is an exciting developmental stage filled with memorable firsts and growth spurts (pot bellies, chin hairs, liver spots, and knee flaps). And what better way to remember all the little details that make you special—your bottle formula (Pinot or Cosmo?), your toilet training (Make public announcement? Engage in self-praise?)— than to write them down in your very own Boomer Baby Book, an...
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Congratulations, baby boomers: You are now officially all middle-aged. It's a book of firsts: My first colonoscopy, my first reading glasses. A book of vital statistics, including married name(s), circumference of abdomen, cholesterol count (HDL and LDL), and home state (Red or Blue). It's a place to keep track of primary care givers—herbalist, psychopharmacologist. Record favorite expressions—I'm having a senior moment. Dressing on the side, please. 60 is the new 50. Keep track of "What I've Grown," from liver spots to knee flaps. There's also a place for a lock of hair (if you can spare it) along with the Seven Stages of Hair Loss (men: from minoxidil to shaves head; women: from plucks grey hairs to dyes it champagne blond). Plus essays—"Am I Smiling or Is It Gas," and "I Go to School," a parody of Adult Ed classes.
Table of Contents INTRODUCTION.......................6 MY VITAL STATISTICS ............8 MY FAMILY TREE .................10 MEMORABLE FIRSTS .............12 MY BOTTLE..........................13 AM I A GIRL OR A BOY?........14 BABY TALK ...........................18 FIRSTWORDS .......................19 TEETHING.............................20 I GET CRANKY .....................21 AM I SMILING . . . OR IS IT GAS? ...22 I GROW HAIR........................26 I DRESS MYSELF...................28 MY PRIMARY CAREGIVERS .....30 INTRODUCING SOLID FOODS...............................32 MY PLAYPEN ........................35 TOILET TRAINING.................36 MY BEDTIME RITUAL...........37 FAVORITE NURSERY RHYMES ....38 MY FRIENDS.........................42 LIKES AND DISLIKES.............43 MY FAVORITE EXPRESSIONS ......44 I CAN READ..........................46 I CAN COUNT.......................50 SEX? .....................................52 IT HURTS..............................54 I FORGET..............................56 SEE HOW I'VE GROWN..........60 SEE WHAT I'VE GROWN........61 I TAKE MY MEDICINE ..........62 FIRST RECOGNIZE SELF........76 I REMEMBERWHEN ..............77 WHEN I GROW UP................78 MY HOROSCOPE ...................82 I SAY BYE-BYE......................88 MY IMAGINARY FRIEND ........63 MY PERSONALITY.................64 I GO TO SCHOOL ..................68 WHY? ...................................72 I KNOW LEFT FROM RIGHT ...74
