On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God (Confessions of Georgia Nicolson Series #2)

Chapter One\ july\ the sex god has landed...\ sunday July 16th my room\ 6:00 P.M.\ Staring out of my bedroom window at other people having a nice life.\ Who would have thought things could be so unbelievably pooey? I'm only fourteen and my life is over because of the selfishosity of-so-calledgrown-ups. I said to Mum, "You are ruining my life. Just because yours is practically over there is no reason to take it out on me."\ But as usual when I say something sensible and meaningful she just tutted and adjusted her bra like a Russian roulette player. (Or do I mean disco thrower? I don't know and, what's more, I don't care.)\ If I counted up the number of times I've been tutted at, I could open a tutting shop. It's just not fair.... How can my parents take me away from my mates and make me go to New Zealand? Who goes to New Zealand?\ In the end, when I pointed out how utterly useless as a mum she was, she lost her rag and SHOUTED at me.\ "Go to your room right now!"\ I said, "All right, I'll go to my ROOM!! I WILL go to my room!! And do you know what I'll be doing in my room? No you don't, so I'll tell you! I'll be just BEING in my room. That's all. Because there is nothing else to do!!!!!"\ Then I just left her there. To think about what she has done.\ Unfortunately it means that I am in my bed and it is only six o'clock.\ 7:00 p.m.\ On the bright side I am now the girlfriend of a Sex God.\ 7:15 p.m.\ On the dark side, the Sex God doesn't know his new girlfriend is going to be forced to go to the other (useless) side of the universe in a week's time.\ Oh Robbie,where are you now? Well, I know where you are now actually, but is this any time to go away unexpectedly on a footie trip?\ 7:18 p.m.\ I can't believe that after all the time it has taken to trap the SG, all the makeup I have had to buy, the trailing about, popping up unexpectedly when he was out anywhere . . . all that planning gone to waste. I finally get him to snog me (number six) and he says, "Let's see each other but keep it quiet for a bit." And at that moment, with classic poo timing, Mutti says, "We're off to New Zealand next week."\ My eyes are all swollen up like mice eyes from crying. Even my nose is swollen. It's not small at the best of times, but now it looks like I've got three cheeks. Marvelous. Thank you, God.\ 9:00 p.m.\ I'll never get over this.\ 9:10 p.m.\ Time goes very slowly when you are suicidal.\ 9:15 p.m.\ I put sunglasses on to hide my tiny mincers. They are new ones that Mum bought me in a pathetic attempt to interest me in going to Kiwi-a-gogo land. They looked quite cool, actually. I looked a bit like one of those French actresses who smoke Gauloise and cry a lot in-between snogging Gerard Depardieu. I tried a husky French accent in the mirror.\ "And zen when I was, how you say? une teenager, mes parents, mes tres, tres horriblement parents, take me to Nouvelle Zelande. Ahh merde!"\ At which point I heard Mum coming up the stairs and had to leap into bed. She popped her head round the door and said, "Georgie ... are you asleep?"\ I didn't say anything. That would teach her.\ As she left she said, I wouldn't sleep in the sunglasses if I were you, they might get embedded in your head."\ What kind of parenting was that? Mum's medical knowledge was about as good as Dad's DlY. And we had all seen his idea of a shed. Before it fell down on Uncle Eddie.\ Eventually I was drifting off into a tragic sleep when I heard shouting coming from next door's garden. Mr. and Mrs. Next Door were out there, banging and shouting and throwing things about. Is this really the time for noisy gardening? They have no consideration for those who might want to sleep because they have tragedy in their life.\ mucho excitemondo police raid\ 12:10 a.m.\ When the doorbell rang I shot out of bed and looked down the stairs. Mum had opened the door wearing a nightdress that you could quite easily see through. Even if you didn't want to. Which I didn't. There was a policeman standing at the door, holding a sack up in front of him at arm's length and his trousers were shredded round the ankles.\ "is this your bloody cat?" he inquired, not very politely for a public servant.\ Mum said, "Well, I...er."\ I ran down the stairs and went to the door.\ "Good evening, constable. This cat, is it about the size of a small labrador?"\ He said, "Yes."\ On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God. Copyright © by Louise Rennison. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.

\ From Barnes & NobleYou don't have to be a teenager to appreciate the humorous and often self-absorbed ravings found in 14-year-old Georgia Nicolson's diary, but it certainly helps. Now fans of Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging -- Georgia's first set of hilarious musings on life -- can get another peek into the mind of this wryly inquisitive English lass in the appealing sequel: On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God. \ As the title implies, Georgia has snagged herself a sex god in the form of Robbie, the boy of her dreams. Now that they've indulged in a bit of "full-frontal snogging," Georgia turns her attention to advancing the relationship. But things quickly go wrong when she learns that her father's new job may necessitate a move to New Zealand. Crestfallen, Georgia feels her life might as well be over. Then, miraculously, the dreaded move is cancelled, and things seem to be getting better -- at least until 17-year-old Robbie decides to break up with Georgia because he's bothered by the difference in their ages.\ Borrowing freely from her mum's closet and advice books, even as she's steadfastly discounting everything her mum says, a crushed but determined Georgia comes up with a scheme to win Robbie back. As usual, nothing goes as planned, and life is further complicated by Georgia's temperamental cat, Angus (who's having a few amorous leanings of his own), and her baby sister, Libby, whose fascination with (and lack of control over) her bodily functions leads to several intriguing mishaps. Of course, there are other disasters, too: a quick-tan lotion that turns Georgia's legs orange, a run-in with the aptly named Bummer sisters, and friends who insist on focusing on their own problems from time to time.\ Who knew the angst of adolescence could be so much fun? This Georgia's-eye view of teenage life is wonderfully egocentric and side-splittingly funny. And despite the occasional language barrier (a glossary of terms is provided in the back of the book), Georgia's thoughts and experiences will prove universally recognizable to anyone who is, or has ever been, a teenager.\ --Beth Amos\ \ \ \ \ \ Sunday Times"Funnier than the first book. Rennison has got into her stride."\ \ \ Sunday Telegraph"A fabbity fab holiday read."\ \ \ \ \ ALA Booklist (starred review)“She’s back! As fabbity fab fab as its predecessor.”\ \ \ \ \ ALA Booklist"She’s back! As fabbity fab fab as its predecessor."\ \ \ \ \ ALA Booklist (starred review)“She’s back! As fabbity fab fab as its predecessor.”\ \ \ \ \ Sunday TimesFunnier than the first book. Rennison has got into her stride.\ \ \ \ \ Sunday TelegraphA fabbity fab holiday read.\ \ \ \ \ Sunday MirrorThis is laugh-out-loud stuff for adolescent girls and anyone worn down by adult life who needs reminding that being young isn't all good fun.\ \ \ \ \ KLIATTFast and delightful...a real treat...should win Georgia many new fans.\ \ \ \ \ Sunday TimesFunnier than the first book. Rennison has got into her stride.\ \ \ \ \ Sunday MirrorThis is laugh-out-loud stuff for adolescent girls and anyone worn down by adult life who needs reminding that being young isn't all good fun.\ \ \ \ \ Sunday TelegraphA fabbity fab holiday read.\ \ \ \ \ Publishers Weekly"Georgia Nicolson's laugh-a-minute narration picks up right where it left off in Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging," said PW in a starred review. "Fans will not be disappointed." Ages 10-up. (May) Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information.\ \ \ \ \ Publishers Weekly\ - Publisher's Weekly\ Fans of Rennison's debut, Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging, will not be disappointed with this hilarious sequel. Georgia Nicolson's laugh-a-minute narration picks up right where it left off. Vati (as she affectionately calls her father) is off working in "Kiwi-a-gogo land" (New Zealand), and Georgia fears that she will lose the Sex God (Robbie) if she and her family are forced to join Vati. But even when an accident at work ensures that Vati will return and the family will not have to relocate, Georgia loses the Sex God anyway. In a letter, he tells her that she "seem[s] so young" and recommends that she date his younger brother's "really nice mate called Dave. He's a good laugh." So Georgia promptly nicknames the fellow "Dave the Laugh" and sets out to attract him as a way of making SG (Sex God) jealous. Some comical subplots involve Georgia's Mutti (mother) flirting with a George Clooney-look-alike doctor in Vati's absence, Angus's obsession with a Burmese pedigree cat across the street and the reappearance of SG ("I opened the door./ It was the Sex God./ At my door./ Looking like a Sex God./ At my door./ The Sex God had landed at my door./ I was wearing my Teletubbies pajamas"). Will Georgia go for the looks and "retrap" the Sex God? Or will she go for the laughs and end up with Dave? Stay tuned for the next installment. Ages 12-up. (Apr.) Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information.\ \ \ \ \ Children's LiteratureHailed as the Bridget Jones of teens, Georgia Nicolson is back in this long anticipated sequel. Diary entries reveal the trials and tribulations of this often caustic and self-centered teen. With the family slated to move to New Zealand, Georgia plunges into despair. It will mean leaving behind sex god Robbie and his fab, fab, snogging (kissing). When Robbie reveals that she is to young for him Georgia campaigns to prove her "maturiosity" and "glaciosity". Georgia continues to suffer her embarrassing parents, tenderly tolerate her little sister, and adore her persnickety cat Angus. Her blunt distain for lesbians and her fixation on the size of breasts (her own and evryone else's) can be irritating but is oh so credible considering her youth. Short on plot but long on appeal for the middle school set, kids will eagerly devour Georgia's hilarious misadventures. A glossary of British slang written in Georgia's inimitable style will clear up any confusion with Britshisms. 2001, HarperCollins, $15.95. Ages 12 to 14. Reviewer: Beverley Fahey\ \ \ \ \ VOYAGeorgia is back for another round of snogging—kissing, to the uninitiated—her new boyfriend, whom she has dubbed SG, for sex god. She also must deal with the antics of her family members, both the human ones and the fearsome feline, Angus. This sequel fulfills the promise of Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging (HarperCollins, 2000/VOYA June 2000), again providing readers a glimpse into Georgia's diary in which she alternately rails against the injustice of her parents' decision to move to New Zealand, worries over the size of her "basoomas," and despairs that she will ever get past snogging level eight. When her SG boyfriend suggests that he is too old for her and tries to introduce her to a more suitable guy, Georgia must devise a plan to lure him back. With the help of her mates and the unwitting cooperation of her mother, Georgia just might succeed. What works here is the remarkably clarion voice of the protagonist. She speaks her mind; she is quick to comment and slow to censor her words even if they might be hurtful. Georgia will say and do most anything to keep her boyfriend. In short, she is a fairly typical teen. This realistic portrayal sometimes might cause the reader to wince. Georgia says and does what she thinks is right, many times without regard to the consequences. She and her friends are catty in their observations about peers, parents, and teachers. Their irrepressible conversations are sure to ring true for many readers. VOYA CODES: 4Q 5P S (Better than most, marred only by occasional lapses; Every YA (who reads) was dying to read it yesterday; Senior High, defined as grades 10 to 12). 2001, HarperCollins, 192p, . Ages 16 to 18. Reviewer: TeriS. Lesesne SOURCE: VOYA, June 2001 (Vol. 24, No. 2)\ \ \ \ \ KLIATTTo quote from the review of the hardcover in KLIATT, July 2001: Rennison follows up her hilarious Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging with these new entries from 14-year-old Georgia's fictional journal. Here she must contend with the ups and downs of her relationship with the boyfriend whom she refers to as Sex God (though kissing is as far as they get) as well as the antics of her vicious Scottish wildcat Angus, the tribulations of living with a little sister who likes to suck on Georgia's nose, her dim friends who are irritatingly absorbed in their own problems rather than hers, teachers who don't appreciate her pranks, and of course her relatives ("Honestly, what planet do these people live on? And why isn't it farther away?"). This fast and delightful read is a sort of Bridget Jones's Diary for the younger set. A funny glossary at the end will help American readers understand Georgia's British slang, from "footie" for soccer to "snogging" for kissing. This novel in journal form is a real treat, or as Georgia would say, "fabbity fab fab." KLIATT Codes: JS*—Exceptional book, recommended for junior and senior high school students. 2001, HarperCollins, Avon, 228p., \ — Paula Rohrlick\ \ \ \ \ School Library JournalGr 7-9-This sequel to Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging (HarperCollins, 2000) hilariously captures the obsessions and lifestyle of a 14-year-old. Georgia has a mad crush on 17-year-old Robbie, the SG, Sex God, and the story turns on her moment-by-moment fantasies about him and how she might snare him. The narrative unfolds in diary form, in which she reveals the nuances of her daily dramas at school, at home with her mother and younger sister, with her best friend, and with her surrogate boyfriend. Set in England, Georgia's story gathers humor from her quirky use of language and English slang. In fact, readers can refer to the glossary to check on the meanings of words like "snogging" (kissing), "gob" (mouth), and "lippy" (lipstick). On the Bright Side is a funny romp through the intricacies of one especially explosive period of growing up and will be devoured by girls on the brink of becoming teenagers and those who are living in the thick of it now.-Mara Bright, Mark's Meadow School, Amherst, MA Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information.\ \ \ \ \ Kirkus ReviewsReaders were first introduced to Georgia's diary in Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging (A Printz Honor, 2001, not reviewed). Her saga continues here as her mother announces that Georgia's father has found work in New Zealand and they'll be moving in a week. While Georgia tries to make her mother realize that she'll have to be left behind, further disaster strikes: her new boyfriend the SG (Sex God) decides he's too old for her and suggests she might try his younger brother's friend Harry. Thus is launched Operation Elastic Band, in which Harry the Laugh becomes the red-herring with which she'll win back the SG. And does she? Readers will fall right in step with Georgia's up-and-down 14-year-old monologue. "I didn't take any chances with the nipple department; I wore a bra and a vest. Let them get out of that if they could. I must be calm. Om. Om. OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod." The glossary at the end will help with the British slang, though most of it is understandable from context. Readers don't need to have read the first book to be caught right up in the engaging melodrama, but they'll probably want to read it after they've finished this one. It ends, as did its predecessor, abruptly and on a leading tone, suggesting a third. This fun romp will give young-teenage readers someone to laugh at and cheer for, and should make adults cry for joy . . . at not being 14 anymore. (Fiction. 12-15)\ \