Pimpology: The 48 Laws of the Game
The names change, but the game remains the same.\ The pimp has reached nearly mythical status. We are fascinated by the question of how a guy from the ghetto with no startup capital and no credit — nothing but the words out of his mouth — comes not only to have a stable of sexy women who consider him "their man," but to drive a Rolls, sport diamonds, and wear custom suits and alligator shoes from Italy.\ His secret is to follow the "unwritten rules of the game" — a set of regulations handed...
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The names change, but the game remains the same.The pimp has reached nearly mythical status. We are fascinated by the question of how a guy from the ghetto with no startup capital and no credit — nothing but the words out of his mouth — comes not only to have a stable of sexy women who consider him "their man," but to drive a Rolls, sport diamonds, and wear custom suits and alligator shoes from Italy. His secret is to follow the "unwritten rules of the game" — a set of regulations handed down orally from older, wiser macks — which give him superhuman powers of charm, psychological manipulation, and persuasion.In Pimpology, star of the documentaries Pimps Up, Ho's Down and American Pimp and Annual Players Ball Mack of the Year winner Ken Ivy pulls a square's coat on the unwritten rules that took him from the ghetto streets to the executive suites. Ken's lessons will serve any person in any interaction: Whether at work, in relationships, or among friends, somebody's got to be on top. To be the one with the upper hand, you've got to have good game, and good game starts with knowing the rules. If you want the money, power, and respect you dream of, you can't just "pimp your ride," you need to pimp your whole life. And unless you've seen Ray Charles leading Stevie Wonder somewhere, you need Ken's guidelines to do it. They'll reach out and touch you like AT&T and bring good things to life like GE. Then you can be the boss with the hot sauce who gets it all like Monty Hall.
Law 1: Purse First, Ass Last\ If a pimp is going to take a chance, a bitch must give him money in advance.\ — Father Divine\ \ The Life\ A pimp associate of mine, Little Bear, came from a distinguished line of pimps. His daddy was one of the biggest pimps in Milwaukee when I was growing up. Pimpin' was in Little Bear, not on him. Years ago, Little Bear was running an after-hours joint. Many pimps had these little clubs back in the day as a way of catching hoes. A bunch of us were in his joint when one of the finest hoes I ever saw walked in. She had a body like an hourglass. She was so fine her mama should have had triplets. She was just a gorgeous ho. The scene was live, but when this ho walked in, the place stopped.\ Sammy, a half-ass pimp who was sitting in the corner blurted out, "That bitch so fine, she don't need no choosing fee to fuck with my pimpin'!"\ Out of nowhere Little Bear jumped up and said, "Bitch, break yourself!"\ She walks up to Little Bear and asks, "Mr. Bear, what can you do with this money that I can't do with it myself? If you can answer that, I will break myself."\ "Bitch, I'm the pimp and you're the ho," he said. "So act like the quarterback and pass the motherfucking bankroll."\ She smiled and gave him the trap money. Little Bear then turned to me. "That's a fine-ass bitch," he said. "As soon as she makes me twenty Gs, I'm going to have some buck-naked fun with her." Then he posed the same question he'd been asked to me. "Pimpin', what could you do with that money?"\ I stood up, because I was about to perform, and I wanted everyone to hear. "For the record," I started, "I mean to say, for the album — because the record is too short — if any of you suckers want to know what a pimp can do with that money that a bitch can't, go to the motherfucking hardware store, get you some duct tape, tape that money on the wall, and piss on it. That's what a pimp can do that a bitch can't!"\ The Ism\ "Purse first, ass last" is the motto of pimpin', the very foundation on which pimpin' is built. What separates a pimp from a trick is that a pimp completely flips the game. A trick pays a ho for the pussy, but a ho doesn't get to fuck a pimp until she pays him. A ho has got to put it in a pimp's pocket like a rocket before pimpin' can begin. It's not about a pimp breaking a ho, it's about a ho breaking herself. Violating this first law will guarantee a pimp a career of troubles and stress. If a woman can try you before she buy you, then, as B.B. King says, "The thrill is gone."\ In life what is expensive seems valuable, and what's available for free seems worthless. You've heard that no one buys the cow when the milk is free, but what they didn't tell you is that after a while, no one even wants that free milk. To be valued, the key is not to give, but to receive — the more, the better. You don't want to "earn" your price, you want to "cost" it. This is the psychology behind the whole game: anything worth having, you must pay for up front.\ Copyright © 2007 by Ken Ivy
ContentsIntroduction Pimps Are Born, Not SwornLaw 1 Purse First, Ass LastLaw 2 Get a Name in a GameLaw 3 Don't Chase 'Em, Replace 'EmLaw 4 Keep a Ho in ArrearsLaw 5 Prey on the WeakLaw 6 When Pimpin' Begins, Friendship EndsLaw 7 Pimp the GameLaw 8 Don't Let Your History Be a MysteryLaw 9 Learn the RulesLaw 10 Plan Your Work and Work Your PlanLaw 11 Avoid Gorillas and GodzillasLaw 12 Ain't No Love in This ShitLaw 13 Pimp Like You're Ho-lessLaw 14 Better a Turnout Than a BurnoutLaw 15 Say What You Mean and Mean What You SayLaw 16 Give Motivation and InspirationLaw 17 Get You a Bottom BitchLaw 18 Cop and BlowLaw 19 Turn Ho Ends into DividendsLaw 20 Get In a Ho's HeadLaw 21 A Ho Without Instruction Is Headed for Self-DestructionLaw 22 Keep Hoes on Their ToesLaw 23 A Ho Joins a Stable to Ruin ItLaw 24 Set the TrendLaw 25 Grind for Your ShineLaw 26 The Game Is to Be Sold, Not ToldLaw 27 Keep Your Game on the LowLaw 28 Be a LeaderLaw 29 Play One Ho Against the NextLaw 30 Prosperity over PopularityLaw 31 Look Out for Suzy ChoosyLaw 32 Turn a Tramp into a ChampLaw 33 Bring Your People with You to the TopLaw 34 Show Respect to Get RespectLaw 35 Trust Nothing but the GameLaw 36 Be Internationally Known, Nationally Recognized, and Locally AcceptedLaw 37 Let a Ho KnowLaw 38 Wreck a HaterLaw 39 Switch UpLaw 40 Don't Down 'Em, Crown 'EmLaw 41 Keep Your Front Up Till You Come UpLaw 42 If You Can See It, You Can Be ItLaw 43 Talk Shit and Swallow SpitLaw 44 You Need Fire and DesireLaw 45 Get Rid of the Word "If"Law 46 Move and Shake Like a Pimp ShakesLaw 47 Pimpin' Is What You Do, Not Who You AreLaw 48 Don't Believe the HypePimptionaryAcknowledgments
\ From Barnes & NobleParents and grandparents might cringe, but pimpology has gone mainstream. This streetwise pseudo-science purports to lay out rules of power, seduction, and manipulation that are based on hard inner-city realities. With his appearances on American Pimp and Pimps Up, Ho's Down, Milwaukee-based Pimpin' Ken has earned a modicum of celebrity and/or notoriety. In Pimpology, he shares his brand of cynical wisdom. Sample: "Don't chase 'em; replace 'em. To pursue anyone or anything shows weakness. A mack invites pursuit, he never offers it." Enough said.\ \
