Sex, Sex, and More Sex
Frank and friendly advice from the outrageously blunt host of Oxygen's Talk Sex\ No question is too strange for Sue Johanson, the grandmotherly nurse with an encyclopedic knowledge of all things sexual who holds court on two call-in shows, Talk Sex with Sue Johanson and The Sunday Night Sex Show. Now, in this helpful book, Sue provides readers with simple, no-nonsense answers to some of the most frequently asked questions about sex:\ Sue describes the latest trends in sexuality (body...
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Frank and friendly advice from the outrageously blunt host of Oxygen's Talk SexNo question is too strange for Sue Johanson, the grandmotherly nurse with an encyclopedic knowledge of all things sexual who holds court on two call-in shows, Talk Sex with Sue Johanson and The Sunday Night Sex Show. Now, in this helpful book, Sue provides readers with simple, no-nonsense answers to some of the most frequently asked questions about sex:Sue describes the latest trends in sexuality (body piercing, Internet sex, and the "new celibacy") as well as recent advances in birth control and discoveries about HIV infection, AIDS, and "safer sex." Sex, Sex, and More Sex provides an invaluable resource for people of all ages and persuasions, explaining everything you always wanted to know about sex ... and a little bit more!
Sex, Sex, and More Sex\ \ By Johanson, Sue \ ReganBooks\ ISBN: 0060566663 \ \ \ A\ ABORTION\ Dear Sue: I am from a religious background, and I really believed that abortion was murder -- that it was a crime and a sin. Then, in my second year of college, I got pregnant. Marriage was out of the question. I knew I could never give up a baby for adoption, so I chose abortion. For about two years I was consumed by guilt. Fortunately, the abortion clinic provided excellent postabortion counseling, and I finally got the help I needed. I graduated, have a good job, got married, and have two magnificent kids. Although I sometimes think about that pregnancy with sadness, I don't regret the decision I made, and I don't feel guilty. I was lucky. Please tell others to go for help.\ Sue says: What more can I say? Remorse over the abortion could have had a devastating effect on your life, but you had counseling. Usually, clinics offer counseling that helps women examine their value system and look at the messages they were given as children. Provided accurate information, these women are then able to make a decision about what is best for them at that stage of their life. In your case, such counseling helped you move beyond guilt and to appreciate your life as it is in the present.\ Unfortunately, many women may experience postabortion guilt. For them, I strongly recommend short-term counseling to help them deal with their feelings. I am aware that abortion is a very controversial issue and must remain a personal choice. Nobody has the right to impose his or her morals on anyone else.\ You might find the following book of some help: The Gynecological Sourcebook by M. Sara Rosenthal (New York: McGraw-Hill, 2003), 4th ed.\ AFFAIRS\ Dear Sue: My wife had an affair with one of the men at her office. She says it's over now, but I just can't put it out of my mind. What does he have that I don't? I keep wondering if I am as good as he was, so I can't get an erection. How could she do that to me?\ Now I have to be honest and tell you that I had a little fling myself shortly after our son was born, but it meant nothing to me. She was upset for a while, but she got over it. What should I do?\ Sue says: First, I would never tell you what you should do. I'll give you information and some insight into what might be happening, and you can examine your alternatives and decide how you want to deal with this problem.\ Recent surveys indicate that there has been a dramatic increase in the number of women who instigate divorce action. There are several reasons for this.\ \ Women have expectations of what a loving relationship should add to life, and if their own marriage does not meet these expectations, they try to meet them by having an affair.\ Women's opportunities to meet other men have increased because they are in the workplace meeting "new and interesting" males.\ Women are more financially independent, so the prospect of being left with no financial support is not as scary.\ \ Other possible reasons for women's extramarital affairs are:\ \ Romance -- the magic has vanished from the marriage, the honeymoon is over, so they look for it elsewhere.\ An ego boost -- to prove she is still attractive, that she can get a man.\ Revenge -- to get even or to punish a partner for some indiscretion.\ The marriage is over anyway, so why not?\ A onetime mistake -- she got carried away, it just happened.\ Curiosity -- to try sex in new and different ways.\ Risk taking -- to see what she can get away with, to push her luck.\ Rebellion -- "I'll show you, you can't control me."\ Loneliness -- feeling isolated.\ \ Do any or all of these explanations apply to your partner and you? Have you noticed that she did not react as strongly to your outside affair as you did to hers? This is not uncommon -- as much as we've accomplished in gender equality, society still has double standards when it comes to extramarital affairs. Many women still assume that "boys will be boys," that men are "victims" of "toxic testosterone." I believe many women still initially accept a husband's indiscretion as long as he doesn't repeat it. This does not mean that women forgive and forget, they don't -- unless their husband appears totally repentant. Your wife may not have confided in you about the depth of her feeling when you cheated on her, and may be having an affair to get back at you.\ Do you think it is more acceptable for men to have affairs than for women? Some women still buy into the idea that men are not genetically programmed to be monogamous. But in our society, most women expect that their partner will be faithful. For insight into your situation, do read After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful by Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., with Michael Spring (New York: Perennial, 1997). Abrams found that if a man initiates a divorce, he is likely to claim that it's because his wife has had an extramarital affair. However, if the wife sues for divorce, the cause is probably mental, physical, emotional, or sexual cruelty or abuse.\ Here are more interesting observations about women involved in extramarital affairs.\ Women see and hear of other women having affairs, and there is the bandwagon effect -- since everybody else is doing it, they don't want to miss out.\ \ In an affair, there is a "holiday" feeling, with romance, adventure, thrilling excitement, chemistry, and intense intimacy. Some women like the aura of being a temptress and enjoy the feelings of illicit sex and secrecy.\ It is much easier to be a lover than to be a wife.\ Most married women do not want to hurt their partners; they try to protect them, and they try to avoid a scene or showdown.\ \ Continues... \ \ \ \ Excerpted from Sex, Sex, and More Sex by Johanson, Sue Excerpted by permission.\ All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.\ Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site. \ \
