Startled by His Furry Shorts (Confessions of Georgia Nicolson Series #7)

Startled by His Furry Shorts\ \ By Louise Rennison \ HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.\ Copyright © 2006 Louise Rennison\ All right reserved.\ ISBN: 0060853859 \ \ \ \ Chapter One\ living in fiascoland\ \ saturday june 18th\ 9:00 p.m.\ I can't believe I am once more on the rack of romance.\ And also in the oven of luuurve.\ And possibly on my way to the bakery of pain.\ And maybe even going to stop along the way to get a little cake at the cakeshop of agony.\ Shut up, brain, shut up.\ 9:01 p.m.\ Looking out my window at the stars.\ It says in my Meditation for the Very Backward book that it is soothing looking at the universe and stars and everything.\ Ommmm.\ 9:03 p.m.\ The meditation book is wrong. God, stars are annoying. Winking and blinking like twinkly idiots. Why are they are so cheerful?\ 9:03 p.m. and a half\ I'll tell you why they are so cheerful, because they are not me. They know nothing of the call of the Horn and snogging. Has a Luuurve God ever said to one of them, "I will let you know in a week's time if I want to go out with you or not"? No.\ Anyway, what are stars for actually? You can't even read by them. They just hang about. Like dim torches.\ 9:04 p.m.\ Hanging about is not exactly a job, is it?\ 9:05 p.m.\ I am not as such feeling any calmer.\ 9:10p.m.\ Being in the bakery of pain is vair vair boring. Ten past nine on a Saturday night and I am in my bedroom. Alone. I am in the prime of my -- er -- hornosity and joie de vivre and nothing is going on. Nothing.\ It's like the grave in this house I . . .\ Oh good. My darling little sister has kicked open my door and flung Angus at me.\ "HEGGGGOOO Gingey!!! We is back. Heggo!!! Watch my panties dance. Sex bum sex bum am a sex bum!!!"\ Oh dear Gott in Himmel. Angus was livid at being thrown and once he'd stopped doing that cat sneezing and shaking thing, he dug his claws into my ankle. Owwwwwww. Now I'm on the way to the cakeshop of aggers with a gammy leg. Hurray!\ Libby put her frock over her head and waggled her botty around like a pole dancer. Where does she see people doing these things?\ They've just come back from the lunatic asylum, i.e., Granddad's sheltered housing, so it will be something she has seen there. I've seen the residents in their so-called communal "lounge." They pretend to play dominoes, but secretly they practice being mad. And probably prance around in their incontinence knickers.\ Then Mum came mumming in and scooped up Bibbs. "Time for boboland, young lady."\ Libby carried on singing and wiggling around in Mum's arms, and then Mum noticed me. Being in my bedroom.\ "What are you up to, Georgia? Why are you in here?"\ I said, "Not that anyone notices, but this is actually my room. You know, for me to be in. I was in bed, as it happens."\ Mum said as she went out, "Oh you must be sooo tired, all that lip gloss and mascara to carry round all day."\ Vair vair amusing. Not.\ 9:25 p.m.\ I've been in my bedroom more or less for forty-eight hours, give or take snack and loo breaks. Oh and a quick visit to the shops for essentials. Mascara. And a new nunga-nunga holder. And a copy of Cosmo. It is forty-eight hours since Masimo left me at my door saying he would let me know if he wanted me to be his girlfriend or not. Why did I admit I wanted him to be like my proper boyfriend? Why why?\ 9:26 p.m.\ And also thrice why? Whyitwhyitwhy? Why couldn't I have just been a callous sophisticate? I could for once have just shut up and been all full of casualosity and savoir whatsit.\ 9:30 p.m.\ If I'd played my cards right I could have had loads of boyfriends. All at the same time. Masimo the Italian Stallion for a weekendy boyfriend, with a touch of Dave the Laugh (oo-er) for a rainy weekday. And also maybe even the former Sex God (whose name I'm not going to mention even beyond the grave) as a sort of Kiwi-a-gogo airmail boyfriend. But, oh no, I had to moan on about wanting to be Masimo's one and only.\ 9:40 p.m.\ I was so happy snogging Masimo under the stars on our date. Stars didn't get on my nerves then. Nothing did.\ 9:42 p.m.\ How come I am living in Fiasco land again? One minute he was snogging me under the twinkly twits, and then the next day he is off to Late and Live with Wet Lindsay, stick insect and drip. I am haunted by Old Droopy Drawers. First she enticed you know who, whose name I will never mention even beyond the grave, but as a clue his name starts with R and ends in obbie.\ Now she has slimed her way around Masimo. I hate her, I hate her.\ But that is life in a nutshell, isn't it? Well, mine, anyway, all fabby and marvy and then all pooey and merde.\ 9:45 p.m.\ What was it Charlie Dickens said in his famous book Oliver Twit? Ah yes, "forsooth and lack a day all ye worlde is-eth a stage and verily we-eth are players in-ith it. Gadzooks." Or was that Billy Shakespeare? Who knows? Who cares? What does it mean, anyway? And why do none of those beardy Elizabethan types know how to speak proper English?\ What does anything mean?\ midnight\ Oh I can't bear this. How many hours is it until Masimo tells me his answer? Perhaps I should phone him and tell him that I didn't mean what I said about him being my one and only one. I could say that he can go out with Wet Lindsay as well as long as he likes me.\ ten past midnight\ But that would mean I might snog him after she had snogged him and that would mean that I had practically snogged her. No one could live with that.\ \ Continues... \ \ \ \ Excerpted from Startled by His Furry Shorts by Louise Rennison Copyright © 2006 by Louise Rennison. Excerpted by permission.\ All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.\ Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site. \ \

\ KLIATT\ - Paula Rohrlick\ To quote the review of the hardcover in KLIATT, May 2006: Fans of the irrepressible Georgia will welcome this 7th entry in her diary series, which began with Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging and shows no signs of slowing down. In this volume, the madcap British teenager is once again suffering "on the rack of romance," as she puts it. Hunky Masimo has said he'll let her know if he wants her to be his girlfriend; meanwhile, Georgia still rather fancies Dave the Laugh, too. At school "MacUseless" (Macbeth) play rehearsals keep her occupied; her best friend Jas is busily planning a Viking wedding; and Georgia's family is as wacky as ever. The glossary at the end helps decipher her Britishisms and unique argot—e.g., "blodge" for biology and "lippy" for lipstick. Georgia's fans will be eager to get their hands on this latest installment of silly fun.\ \ \ \ \ VOYARennison's fans will not be disappointed by her newest volume of the confessions of Georgia Nicolson. Georgia is having a total love (or "luuurve" in Georgia-speak) crisis. Her guitar-playing Original Sex God is out of the picture in Kiwi-a-go-go land, and she will not even mention his name. Dave the Laugh, her sometimes "mate" and all-around good guy, seems to be stringing her along in a he-loves-me-he-loves-me-not cycle, complete with some awfully good snogging. To top it off, the Italian luuurve god Masimo has apparently dumped her for stick-legged Wet Lindsay. If that was not bad enough, everyone around her is pairing off. Jas and Tom are joined at the waist, and Rosie and Sven are planning a full-out Viking wedding. Funny, a little raunchy, and with a much-needed glossary at the end, Georgia's intimate and quick diary entries take readers to the heart of teenaged love angst with all the trimmings. Every character is seen through Georgia's slightly skewed perspective, so no one is safe from her uncensored commentary. Add in a school production of MacUseless (Macbeth for the uninitiated) with a bit of cross-dressing and fur, and the story has all the elements of a farce. With a cliff-hanger of an ending, book eight better be on the way soon. VOYA CODES: 4Q 4P J S (Better than most, marred only by occasional lapses; Broad general YA appeal; Junior High, defined as grades 7 to 9; Senior High, defined as grades 10 to 12). 2006, HarperCollins, 288p., and PLB Ages 12 to 18. \ —Michele Winship\ \ \ Children's Literature\ - Amie Rose Rotruck\ After giving Masimo an ultimatum, Georgia Nicholson waits for his answer. Will he tell her that he wants to be her one and only? Or will he want to be "just mates"? As she waits for his answer, Georgia goes to MacUseless play rehearsals and works with her friends to plan a Viking wedding. To further complicate matters, Dave the Laugh made some comment that makes Georgia think he is in love with her. And then there are the ever embarrassing, Mutti, Vati, and Libby to contend with, not to mention the stalking cats, Angus and Gordy. While typically seven books about a girl obsessing over males is a bit much, Rennison still manages to keep the hilarity rolling. For those of us across the pond from Georgia's home, Georgia has thoughtfully provided a glossary of British slang and terms, complete with her own biting humor. Fans of Georgia will enjoy this latest installment, and those just getting to know her will immediately search for her previous adventures after finishing this one. Part of the "Confessions of Georgia Nicolson" series.\ \ \ \ \ Jennifer StevensIn this, the seventh book of the Georgia Nicholson series, Georgia finds herself in "the oven of luuurve" once again. At the end of the last book, Then He Ate My Boy Entrancers, Georgia had given the Italian Stallion, a.k.a. Masimo, an ultimatum: to be an exclusive couple. Throughout this book, Georgia awaits her answer and has to deal with the devastating idea of only being "mates" with Masimo. Will she be able to live if he picks Wet Lindsay over her? And what exactly did Dave the Laugh mean when he said that they were meant for each other? Along the way, Georgia has to put up with her little sister, Libby, who is constantly hiding things in her bed, and her psycho cats, Angus and Gordy, who attack at random. That doesn't even begin to explain the horrors of dealing with school at Stalag 14. A must-read for fans of the series, this book is laugh-out-loud funny and, as Georgia would say, "full of hilariosity."\ \ \ \ \ School Library JournalGr 7-9 -British teenager Georgia is back in the seventh book (HarperTempest, 2006) in the series by Louise Rennison. Georgia has given Masimo the Italian Stallion, the object of her latest obsession, an ultimatum and she continues to hope they will be an exclusive couple, although she suspects he may be involved with someone else. While she waits for his answer, Georgia and the rest of the Ace Gang spend most of their time choreographing dances involving bison horns, planning a Viking wedding for Rosie and Sven, and rehearsing for the play MacUseless (Macbeth ) at good old Stalag 14. Rennison narrates Georgia's diary, giving voice to the teenager's innermost thoughts. Fans of the series who can't get enough of Georgia will be thrilled to listen in on her fabbity fab stories, since hearing her words spoken out load adds humor to the telling. For dedicated fans of the series.-Casey Rondini, East Windsor Middle School, CT\ Copyright 2006 Reed Business Information.\ \ \ \ \ School Library JournalGr 7-9-Rennison's angst-filled, dramatic, and smart-aleck heroine is back in her seventh book. Nothing much has changed in her life; Georgia is still tormented by embarrassing parents, an annoying little sister, diabolical cats, and inaccessible boys. This time around, she is an unwilling participant in a school production of Macbeth. She's having a fight with her friend Jas, and the gorgeous Italian, Massimo, is playing hard to get. She is just beginning to realize, though, that the attractive, hard-to-get guys whom she usually goes for may not be for her and that her good friend "Dave the Laugh" might just deserve a second look. There is nothing new or outstanding about this book compared to the others in the series. Though the teen's phrases like "the cakeshop of agony" and "the bakery of pain" are funny at first, the silliness is so heavily layered throughout the novel that it eventually draws away from the action. Except for a new love interest or two, the plot hasn't progressed much since the second book. As usual, the best part is the glossary; some of Georgia's definitions are laugh-out-loud funny. No matter how similar it is to the previous books, however, many teens will want to read each and every Georgia Nicolson story to see what trouble she gets into next.-Stephanie L. Petruso, Anne Arundel County Public Library, Odenton, MD Copyright 2006 Reed Business Information.\ \