The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing
The number of people who become involved with partners who abuse them emotionally and/or who are emotionally abusive themselves is phenomenal, and yet emotional abuse is the least understood form of abuse. In this breakthrough book, Beverly Engel, one of the world's leading experts on the subject, shows us what it is and what to do about it. Whether you suspect you are being emotionally abused, fear that you might be emotionally abusing your partner, or think that both you and your partner...
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Emotional abuse is the least understood form of abuse. The number of people who are emotional abusers or who become involved with partners who abuse them emotionally is phenomenal. In this breakthrough book, Beverly Engel, one of the world’s leading experts on emotional abuse, shows us how to stop the cycle of abuse.Engel’s work in the field has helped her gain a great deal of insight and empathy for both the victim and the abuser. The Emotionally Abusive Relationship shows emotionally abused people how to help themselves, as well as showing emotionally abusive people how to stop abusing. Engel covers all aspects of emotional abuse, including the patterns that begin in childhood, teaching us how to identify and understand emotional abuse. This prescriptive book combines dramatic personal stories with action steps to heal. Focusing on the dynamics of an emotionally abusive relationship, Engel provides strategies that will allow partners to work together to resolve their issues and stop the abuse. Her step-by-step program provides the skills needed to:Spot the warning signs that a partner is a potential abuserEstablish firmer boundaries and develop a stronger sense of selfCope with the anger, stress, and insecurities that propel abuseConfront the abuser when he or she becomes abusiveStop blaming and start taking responsibilityDetermine whether or not the relationship is worth savingPrevent emotional abuse in the futureEngel also includes pertinent information on borderline personality disorder and its effects, as well as a section offering partners of individuals with BPD strategies for dealing with the types of emotional abuse they are likely to experience.If you’re being abused, if you’re the abusive partner, or if you’re part of a couple who is abusing one another, this book can help you. The Emotionally Abusive Relationship offers the expert guidance and support you need to stop the abuse now–and start getting the help your relationship needs. Library Journal According to therapist Engel (Partners in Recovery), "even the most loving person" is capable of emotional abuse-that is, "any non-physical behavior designed to control, intimidate, subjugate, demean, punish, or isolate." In a reasoned, sensible tone, she encourages readers to become responsible for their behavior and for changing it. Identified are ten "patterns of abuse" (verbal assault, character assassination, etc), different kinds of abusive relationships, action steps for cessation, and suggestions for recovery. Using dense writing and cogent examples, Engel clearly shows how this type of abuse, either intentional or unconscious, leads to low self-esteem and misery for one or both partners. A difficult and draining yet important read for those who suspect that their relationship has entered abusive territory, this book is highly recommended. For books on remedying less severe marital stresses, try Howard Markman and others' hokey but well-intentioned Fighting for Your Marriage. Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information.
\ CHAPTER 1\ Emotional Abuse--The Destroyer of Relationships
AcknowledgmentsvIntroduction1Part 1Identifying and Understanding Emotional Abuse71Emotional Abuse--The Destroyer of Relationships92Patterns of Abuse263Not All Emotionally Abusive Relationships Are Alike444Patterns That Begin in Childhood: Why We Abuse and Why We Take It58Part 2Stopping the Abuse795Action Steps for Those Being Abused806Action Steps for the Abusive Partner1147Action Steps for the Abusive Couple1458When Your Partner Has a Personality Disorder1629When Your Abusiveness Stems from Your Personality Disorder186Part 3Where Do You Go from Here?21310Should You Stay or Should You Leave?21511Preventing Emotional Abuse in the Future22712Continuing to Recover242Epilogue256References257Further Reading258Websites and Chat Rooms261Index262
\ Library JournalAccording to therapist Engel (Partners in Recovery), "even the most loving person" is capable of emotional abuse-that is, "any non-physical behavior designed to control, intimidate, subjugate, demean, punish, or isolate." In a reasoned, sensible tone, she encourages readers to become responsible for their behavior and for changing it. Identified are ten "patterns of abuse" (verbal assault, character assassination, etc), different kinds of abusive relationships, action steps for cessation, and suggestions for recovery. Using dense writing and cogent examples, Engel clearly shows how this type of abuse, either intentional or unconscious, leads to low self-esteem and misery for one or both partners. A difficult and draining yet important read for those who suspect that their relationship has entered abusive territory, this book is highly recommended. For books on remedying less severe marital stresses, try Howard Markman and others' hokey but well-intentioned Fighting for Your Marriage. Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information.\ \
