The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death: Reflections on Revenge, Germophobia, and Laser Hair Removal

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Author: Laurie Notaro

ISBN-10: 1616791160

ISBN-13: 9781616791162

Category: American Essays

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Laurie Notaro has an uncanny ability to attract insanity–and leave readers doubled over with laughter. In The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death, she experiences the popular phenomenon of laser hair removal (because at least one of her chins should be stubble-free); bemoans the scourge of the Open Mouth Coughers on America’s airplanes; welcomes the newest ex-con (yay, a sex offender!) to her neighborhood; and watches, against her own better judgment, every Discovery Health Channel special on parasites and tapeworms that has ever aired–resulting in an overwhelming fear that a worm the size of a python will soon come a-knocking on her back door.The Cleveland Plain Dealer says that Laurie Notaro is “a scream, the freak-magnet of a girlfriend you can’t wait to meet for a drink to hear her latest story.” With The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death, Notaro proves she’s not only funny but resigned to the fact that you can’t look bad ass in a Prius. Don’t even try.Enter Laurie Notaro’s THE IDIOT GIRL AND THE FLAMING TANTRUM OF DEATH Essay Contest!OFFICIAL RULES—NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN.Open to legal residents of the U.S. who are 18 years of age or older as of June 30th, 2009. Contest ends June 30th, 2009. TO ENTER:Enter online at any time beginning at 12:00 Midnight, Eastern Daylight Savings Time (EDT), June 1, 2009 through 11:59 PM, (EDT), June 30, 2009, by emailing bpgmarketing@randomhouse.com with the subject line “Idiot Girl” and attach an essay of no more than 450 words about your funniest Idiot Girl adventure. You must include your name, age, mailing address and valid email address along with your original contest submission (English language only; 450 words or less.) Limit one entry per person. Only entries submitted electronically in accordance with these rules will be eligible for consideration. Mechanically reproduced entries not accepted. All entries become the property of Random House, Inc. (“Sponsor”) upon submission. All applicable federal, state and local laws and regulations apply. Contest void wherever prohibited or restricted by law. Entries received from persons residing in geographic areas in which entry is not permissible will be disqualified. Publisher/author is not responsible for lost/late/misdirected entries or computer malfunctions. WINNER SELECTION:One (1) Grand Prize Winner and three (3) first prize winners will be chosen by the Sponsor’s Marketing Department for having the best writing style and the most outrageous Idiot Girl tale. Winner will be picked from all eligible entries on or about July 31st, 2009. The decision of the judges will be final and binding in all matters relating to the Contest. PRIZES:One (1) Grand Prize – winner will have their essay story posted on author’s website, www.laurienotaro.com for one (1) year, AND have their name used as a character name in Laurie’s next novel published by Sponsor; each of three (3) First Prize winners will receive One (1) copy of THE IDIOT GIRL AND THE FLAMING TANTRUM OF DEATH in trade paperback format (ISBN: 9780812975741). (Approximate retail value of all prizes: $42.00.) WHO CAN PARTICIPATE:Open to legal residents of the U.S., who are 18 years of age or older as of June 30, 2009. Employees of Random House, Inc., (including Random House’s parent, subsidiaries, affiliates, and agencies) and immediate families and persons living in the same household of such employees are not eligible. GENERAL CONDITIONS:All Prize Winners must be 18 years of age or older. Noncompliance with any condition will result in disqualification and selection of an alternate Winner. Grand Prize Winner will be notified by e-mail on or about August 1, 2009 and First Prize Winners will be notified by e-mail on or about August 15th, 2009. Return of any prize notification as undeliverable, or failure of potential winners to accept a prize, respond to notification attempts or return completed releases within required timeframe may result in disqualification and an alternate winner will be selected at Sponsor’s discretion. No transfer/cash substitution of prize permitted. Sponsor reserves the right to substitute a prize of equal or greater value if, at any time following selection of the winners, any portion of the prizes become unavailable for any reason. Prizes are nontransferable and must be accepted as rewarded. Winners will be required to execute affidavits of eligibility, liability releases, warranty and indemnification releases and, except where prohibited by law, use of name or likeness releases and return them within seven (7) days of issuance. Winners will be required to execute an agreement confirming, for the benefit of Sponsor, the winner’s conveyance of copyright in the entry to Sponsor. Publisher/author reserves the right to post, remove and/or modify this contest on the Internet at any time. Publisher/author reserves the right to disqualify entries from anyone tampering with the Internet entry process. If, for any reason, the contest or any drawing is not capable of running as planned by reason of damage by computer virus, worms, bugs, tampering, unauthorized intervention, technical limitations or failures, or any other causes which, in the sole opinion of the Publisher/author, could compromise, undermine or otherwise affect the Official Rules, administration, security, fairness or proper conduct of the contest, the Publisher/author reserves the right and absolute discretion to modify these Official Rules and/or to cancel, terminate, modify or suspend the contest. In the event of termination or cancellation, the Winners will be selected from all eligible entries received before termination. Publisher/author assume no responsibility for any error, omission, interruption, deletion, defect, delay in operation or transmission, communications line failure, theft, destruction, or unauthorized access to the site. Publisher/author is not responsible for injury or damage to any computer, other equipment, or person relating to or resulting from participation in the contest, or from downloading materials or accessing the site. Contest is subject to applicable laws and regulations in U.S. Participants release the Publisher/author, its agencies, and assigns from any liability and/or loss resulting from participation in contest or acceptance or use of any prize. By their entry, participants fully and unconditionally agree to these rules and judges decisions, which are final and binding. By acceptance of prize, Winners agree to rules and Publisher’s/author’s use of their name/likeness for commercial purposes without notification / compensation, except where prohibited by law.TO OBTAIN THE NAMES OF THE WINNERS:For the names of the Winners, available after September 30, 2009, send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to be received by September 15, 2009 to: The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death Contest Winners, 1745 Broadway, 22nd Floor, NY, NY 10019, Attn: Rochelle Clark.GOVERING LAW:All disputes and questions regarding the construction, validity, interpretation and enforceability of these Official Rules, or the rights and obligations of any participant, and the Sponsor, shall be governed by, and construed in accordance with the laws of the State of New York, without giving effect to any choice of law or conflict of law rules or provisions that would cause the application of the laws of any jurisdiction other than New York. The invalidity or unenforceability of any provision of these Official Rules shall not affect the validity or enforceability of any other provision. If any such provision is determined to be invalid or otherwise unenforceable, these Official Rules shall be construed in accordance with their terms as if the invalid or unenforceable provision was not contained therein. PROMOTION SPONSOR:Random House, Inc. , 1745 Broadway, New York, NY 10019.Publishers WeeklyIn her latest collection of essays, Notaro (The Idiot Girl's Action-Adventure Club) turns out a double-handful of chuckle-worthy vignettes, looking at episodes of panic on an airplane, spying on guests at a mountain resort, learning to live with the ex-con down the street and, of course, handling the numerous disappointments and betrayals of the human body. Notaro blends sardonic, often self-deprecating comedy with disarming sincerity, delving into weight gain and body hair issues without hesitation, but staying closer to house, hearth, and everyday life with husband and dog. Most of the time, her quips rise to the occasion, but occasionally fall flat (as in "Death of a Catchphrase"). Although the majority of Notaro's musings are light-hearted, she reveals an affecting serious side in her essay on a pet's death. With plenty of humorous insight into the everyday debacles of an average gal from Arizona, these entertaining essays should make satisfying, bite-sized beach reading. Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.