The Lies We Believe
This newly repackaged edition examines the lies people tell themselves that damage emotional health, relationships, and spiritual life. Psychologist Dr. Chris Thurman guides the reader through part one that identifies the different areas of self-lies, religious lies, marital lies, distortion lies, and worldly lies. Part Two delves into the issues of what is truth, and Part Three deals with how to live the truth, ultimately revealing the freedom that can only come from one thing-believing and...
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This newly repackaged edition examines the lies people tell themselves that damage emotional health, relationships, and spiritual life. Psychologist Dr. Chris Thurman guides the reader through part one that identifies the different areas of self-lies, religious lies, marital lies, distortion lies, and worldly lies. Part Two delves into the issues of what is truth, and Part Three deals with how to live the truth, ultimately revealing the freedom that can only come from one thing-believing and telling themselves the truth. An extremely easy-to-follow guide filled with comprehensive workbook exercises, this edition is a way to help people experience the emotional health, intimate relationships, and spiritual fulfillment they are seeking.Previous editions: 0-8407-3192-2 and 07852-7343-3
AcknowledgmentsvPrologueviiPart 1The Lies We Believe11.The Truth About the Lies We Believe32.Self-Lies12"I Must Be Perfect.""I Must Have Everyone's Love and Approval.""It Is Easier to Avoid Problems Than to Face Them.""I Can't Be Happy Unless Things Go My Way.""My Unhappiness Is Somebody Else's Fault."3.Worldly Lies28"You Can Have It All.""My Worth Is Determined by My Performance.""Life Should Be Easy.""Life Should Be Fair.""You Shouldn't Have to Wait for What You Want.""People Are Basically Good."4.Marital Lies47"All My Marital Problems Are My Spouse's Fault.""If Our Marriage Takes Hard Work, We Must Not Be Right for Each Other.""My Spouse Can and Should Meet All of My Emotional Needs.""My Spouse Owes Me (for All I Do).""I Shouldn't Have to Change Who I Am to Make Our Marriage Better.""My Spouse Should Be Like Me."5.Distortion Lies61"Magnification: Making a Mountain Out of a Molehill""Personalization: Taking Everything Personally""Polarization: Making Everything Black or White""Selective Abstraction: Missing the Forest for the Trees""Overgeneralization: History Always Repeats Itself""Emotional Reasoning: Feelings Equal Facts"6.Religious Lies77"God's Love Must Be Earned.""God Hates the Sin and the Sinner.""Because I'm a Christian, God Will Protect Me from Pain and Suffering.""All My Problems Are Caused by My Sins.""It Is My Christian Duty to Meet All the Needs of Others.""A Good Christian Doesn't Feel Angry, Anxious, or Depressed.""God Can't Use Me Unless I'm Spiritually Strong."Part 2Telling Ourselves the Truth1017.The Truth About the Truth1038.To Err Is Human1169.You Can't Please Everyone12510.There Is No Gain without Pain13211.You Don't "Have to" Do Anything14112.The Virtue Lies in the Struggle, Not the Prize14913.Life Is Difficult15814.You Reap What You Sow16715.You Are Not Entitled to Anything17616.Emotional Pain Is Good18517.You Are Going to Die19418.Is There an Ultimate Source of Truth?20319.The Truth About God and the Truth About You211Part 3Living the Truth22920.Doing the Truth231The Battle for Our Minds The Truth WorkoutWeek 1Identifying the Lies You Tell YourselfWeek 2Knowing Your A-B-C'sWeek 3Challenging Your Lies with the TruthWeek 4Dealing with Past EventsWeek 5Overcoming PerfectionismWeek 6Defeating the Need for ApprovalWeek 7Facing ProblemsWeek 8Discovering Your Identity and WorthWeek 9Rejecting Your "Have To's"Week 10Facing Your Own DeathWeek 11Being Needy, Meeting NeedsWeek 12Developing the Mind of ChristEpilogue281Appendix ASecular and Biblical Teachings on the Importance of "Right" Thinking for Emotional and Spiritual Health285Appendix BSecular and Biblical Truths for Defeating the Lies We Believe287Appendix CBiblical Support for the Ten Truths Necessary for Emotional and Spiritual Health294Appendix DBiblical Teachings on Truth303Appendix ERecommended Readings307Notes308About the Author311
