The Mammoth Book of Humor
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More than 10,000 stories and jokes, limericks and one-liners, put-downs and puns in the ultimate, most comprehensive compendium of humor ever compiled. From boners and groaners to classic shaggy-dog stories and jokes for roasts and toasts, virtually every form of verbal humor on a whole raft of topics is represented in this not totally politically correct but always devilishly diverting collection of ticklers and howlers for any occasion. Humorous quotations, epigrams and epitaphs, newspaper misprints, misleading headlines ("MAGISTRATES MAY ACT ON INDECENT SHOWS"), limericks, puns, and the darnedest things said by kids ("a fjord is a Scandinavian car") also appear among the volume's ten thousand entries, which are arranged by category and fully indexed by subject. This format makes the book an easily accessible as well as invaluable companion to speech-makers for events great and small. So it is that The Mammoth Book of Humor meets the needs of both the maiden aunt looking for a wholesome joke to relate at a golden wedding anniversary and the best man who needs a blue one for the bachelor party. The volume even offers would-be wolves on the prowl pick-up lines-at the same time that it provides some snappy comebacks and a few ribald ripostes for the reluctant or disinterested prey. Waggish, witty, wisecracking, or whimsical, the humor is as various as it is vigorous on every page of this endlessly entertaining collection.
IntroductionixPart 1Stories, Jokes and One-Liners1Absent-mindedness3Accidents5Accountants8Acting10Adultery11Advertising17Age19American towns, cities and states23Animals26Army32Art34Automobiles35Aviation40Babies43Banking45Bartenders48Baseball52Beauty53Birds55Birth57Birthdays59Bosses62Business64Cabs65California67Cannibals68Cats70Children72Christmas75Bill Clinton76College and university82Computers84Crime87Dating89Death93Dentists97Diets99Dinner parties100Divorce101Doctors103Dogs110Drink116Elephants121England124Excuses125Families127Farming128Fashion130Fish and fishing133Florida134Food135Football (American)137Golf139Grandparents144Hair145Hallowe'en147Health148Heaven and hell150Hollywood154Honeymoon155Horses156Hospital158Hotels161Hunting163Insanity165Insects167Irish jokes169Jewish jokes172Lawyers181Laziness191Lies192Light bulb jokes194Love and marriage197Men204Money213Mother-in-law jokes216Music218Mysteries of life221Navy224Neighbours226Newspapers and magazines227New York229Other countries231Parents238Parties240Philosophy241Police246Political correctness249Politics250Prison252Psychiatrists254Rail Travel257Real estate259Rednecks260Religion265Restaurants276Salesmen281School283Sex286Shopping296Sleep299Soccer301Stockbrokers302Stupidity303Taxation304Television305Texas307Theatre308Time310Vacations311War313Weddings315Women316Work321Zoos326Part 2Miscellaneous329Bumper Stickers331Collective Nouns336Comic Dictionary338Epigrams344Epitaphs367Humorous Quotations384Limericks402Misprints & Howlers427News and sport427Advertisements433US Church bulletins435Wanted Ads436Strange Signs437Headlines440Bloomers444Pick-up Lines & Rejections451Politically Incorrect Jokes458Blonde jokes458Confucius jokes469Do it jokes470Good, Bad, Worse472Medical472Mommy, Mommy482Sexual484Yo mama jokes516General519Puns524Put-downs549Art549Cinema550Comedy558Literature559Military562Music564Politics568Royalty576Sport578Television580Theatre580To Whom It May Concern583Insults For All Occasions584The Wisdom of Children586Exam Howlers586Proverbs591Part 3Toasts593Index603
