The Stuffed Owl: An Anthology of Bad Verse
The editors of this legendary and hilarious anthology write: "It would seem at a hasty glance that to make an anthology of Bad Verse is on the whole a simple matter . . . On the contrary . . . Bad Verse has its canons, like Good Verse. There is bad Bad Verse and good Bad Verse. It has been the constant preoccupation of the compilers to include in this book chiefiy good Bad Verse." Here indeed one finds the best of the worst of the greatest poets of the English language, masterpieces of the...
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The editors of this legendary and hilarious anthology write: "It would seem at a hasty glance that to make an anthology of Bad Verse is on the whole a simple matter . . . On the contrary . . . Bad Verse has its canons, like Good Verse. There is bad Bad Verse and good Bad Verse. It has been the constant preoccupation of the compilers to include in this book chiefiy good Bad Verse." Here indeed one finds the best of the worst of the greatest poets of the English language, masterpieces of the maladroit by Dryden, Wordsworth, and Keats, among many others, together with an index ("Maiden, feathered, uncontrolled appetites of, 59;. . . Manure, adjudged a fit subject for the Muse, 91") that is itself an inspired work of folly.
PrefaceviiProemxxiHors-d'CEuvre--I1Hors-d'CEuvre--II14An Archangel's Toilet25Yoicks! Gone Away!25The Body: A Fancy27No Doubt28From "Nature's Dessert"28A Posset for Nature's Breakfast28The Return of Charles II30The English Fleet Goes Out31The Faculty at Work32To Account Rendered32The Wonder33Short Curse33On His Mistress Drowned34Heavy Going36The Blue Pencil37Ode upon the New Year38The Chase of the Metaphor41From the Psalms41From the Book of Job41The Crystal Palaces42Possibilities42Rosamond's Song45King Henry's Song46Mr. Gunston is Shown round Heaven48A Polyglot in Paradise48Mr. Mead, Mr. Bates, and Mr. Gouge49Mrs. Warner Arrives Above49On the Landing of William III49From the New Year's Ode, 173152From the Birthday Ode, 173253From Another, 174354Salute to Property55Ode to Miss Margaret Pulteney56To the Right Hon. Robert Walpole, Esq.56Nature Queries58Rustic Interior61Advice to the Stout61The Gastric Muse62On Washing62On Feather Beds63A Submarine Jaunt65Seascape65A Runcible Thought66"Sting Her Up!"66From the "Ode to the King"67From "Ocean, an Ode"69To a Solemn Musick72Final Paean72Ye Nations, Tremble! Parliament has Met73With a Yo, Ho, Ho74La Pudeur Francaise75Pastoral76The Insensible Hottentot77The House Beautiful78Leeds for Pleasure78Home Industries First80Goats and Botanists82The Chase of Jessy82Le Spleen85Bryan and Pereene88Crescendo90The Shame of France90Advice to Slave-Owners90Call to the Muse91Of George, and Property92Il Latte95Hops and Props97The Nail in the Grass98Entry of the Villagers99Cause and Effect100A Sombre Moment100Females, Sacred and Profane102Eliza at the Battle106Fine Figure of a Nymph107"Ae Fond Kiss, and Then108The Maiden Truffle108The Birth of KNO[subscript 2]108Mr. Baker is Well109Miss Hoyland is Coy110Mr. Smith is Dead110A Business Man's Lair111The Baileys112A Bright Morning113Invitation to the Waltz113Verses on the Death of Sir James Hunter Blair114Elegy Written after reading the "Sorrows of Werter"117The Rush to the Lakes118Some Terrify Lions118The Poet is Piqued119The Tiff119Off Duty122The Well-Aimed Tear122Moods124Notice to Tourists125The Temple of Chastity127The Vest of Myrtle127Virtue Protests129Ratiocinative130The Affectionate Heart130George III Enters Paradise131Lovers' Exchange133Domestic Chat133"What with This and That--"134Aphrodite Adiposa135The Evening Stroll136The Evening Sin137Britannia Rejecta137The Tear139The Prisoner Scolds140Caesar Sings141Odd Case of Mr. Gill144(Oxford Street?)144The Aged, Aged Man145Asked and Answered145The Old Huntsman145The Poet Reveals All147Baffled149The Course Prescribed149A Mother's Quest150Insensibility150The Stuffed Owl150Decadence; or, The Umbrella151A Worm's Life Not Everything151An Experiment that Failed152To Some Ladies153The Female Friend156The First-Rate Wife157The Unfortunate Gentleman158From "The Rose-Covered Grave"159Catastrophe160The Poet Questions the Ant161And So Home161A Contretemps162Proximities163The Once-Over163Get-Together Song164Efficiency165Oh, No! We Never Mention Her167Something to Love168I'm Saddest When I Sing168The Soldier's Tear169I'd be a Butterfly169Insect Affection171Marine Vignette174A Request174Fore and Aft175On the Revolution176The Earl and the Girl177A Challenge179Only a Thought179Prone180Bridal Ballad181Eulalie182Miss Adair183Miss Lee184A Call185From "The Vigil of Aiden"185Snoblesse Oblige187Excelsior190Lord Stanhope's Steamer193On the Cork Packet, 1837194Great Western Days194The Death of Huskisson195Roses All the Way195The Railway Boom, 1845196A Lesson for the Proud197Vision of the World, regenerated by the Gospel and the Power of Steam197Trombone Solo200Live and Let Live201Becalmed in the Tropics201A Thought202From "The Old Arm-Chair"202Entry of the Marines202A Thought203Incident in Italy204The Passing of Arthur206Paean207Portrait of a Victorian Author209The Marriage Market210The Poor Relation; or, Pious Hope Frustrated212The Art of Giving (1850)213The Beelah Viaduct215Haloes, Not Hats216Mentem Mortalia Tangunt216A Timely Hint217Check to Song219Financial Note220The Count and the Lady221Sordid Scene222A Divine Mission224Disaster at Sea226A State Occasion227The Good Young Squire228A Graceful Divine228A Lisp in Numbers229From "Ashtaroth," a Drama230The Fight in the Cave232A Warning232Steam: The Seamy Side234Byron: A Critical Survey235A Noble Structure237Hic Finis Rapto238The Poet is Scornful240A Call (1876)240Anti-Bacchics241Ode Sung at the Opening of the International Exhibition242The Lord of Burleigh244Ocean-Spoil Alive, O!247Riflemen Form247Iphigenia in Extremis248Postprandial249Subject Index253Index of Authors263
