The Truth About Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It
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Why are men unfaithful? Do they stray because of sexual dissatisfaction in their marriage or is cheating a sign of a deeper problem? What are the chances that your husband will cheat? Is there anything that can be done to ensure that your husband will stay faithful? While several books have explored the feelings and experiences of women whose husbands have been unfaithful, they have generally ignored the questions of why men cheat and what a wife can do to prevent her marriage from being destroyed by infidelity. In The Truth about Cheating, the renowned family counselor M. Gary Neuman presents fascinating and provocative answers to these vital questions. As Neuman reveals the surprising results of his extensive research with cheating husbands and faithful husbands, he challenges the conventional wisdom and offers keen insights into the real motivations of straying husbands. Among the biggest surprises Neuman discovered during his research is that sexual dissatisfaction plays a relatively minor role in the decision to cheat. Filled with dramatic and enlightening stories based on Neuman's extensive interviews with his subjects, The Truth about Cheating takes you straight to the emotional core of male infidelity. Once you begin to understand the often unexpressed but deeply felt emotional needs that most men have in common, Neuman takes you to the next step—what to do to prevent cheating. He provides concise focus points, action steps, and exercises that will help you reduce the chances of infidelity in your marriage and create a more meaningful and intimate relationship with your husband. You'll also find out how to tell whether your husband is cheating: how to listen for the warning bells, pick up on cheating signals, and read the signs that tell you when he's lying. You'll discover the strongest defense against cheating—connecting with your husband emotionally in ways that are meaningful to him—and learn to encourage him to do the same for you.If you believe that your husband may be unfaithful, you're not being paranoid and it's not your fault. But you can prevent him from straying if he hasn't already done so and put a stop to it if he has. Read The Truth about Cheating and start making your marriage stronger today. Publishers Weekly Neuman (Emotional Infidelity) attempts to arm wives with the tools to prevent their husbands from cheating by drawing upon questionnaires and interviews with 100 men who reported sexual affairs. According to the author's research, sexual dissatisfaction within their marriages rated fourth and emotional dissatisfaction first as reasons given for straying. Neuman notes that only "12% of cheating men said that the mistress was more physically attractive than their wives," thereby reinforcing findings that men were missing an emotional connection in their marriages (whether this is intended to serve as comfort to their wives is unclear). Neuman introduces "The Innervoice Recognition Formula" and "Quick Action Program," challenging women to revise assumptions about marriage, make immediate behavioral changes and forge new bonds with their husbands, thereby deterring future dalliances. While some wives might find this book helpful, it is perhaps more likely that readers will wish that the author had devoted more time to holding the cheating husband responsible for his actions rather than putting the onus on wives to take preventive-and dubiously effective-measures. (Sept.)Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Acknowledgments ixWhy and How Men CheatThis Book Will Change Your Marriage 3The Real Reasons Men Cheat 15Quick Action Program-Step One: Keep Tabs on His Friends and Family 34Warning Bells, Cheating Signals, and Lying Signs 43Quick Action Program-Step Two: Change the Cheating Signals 48Quick Action Program-Step Three: Get Involved in His Work and Play Lives 59Understanding the Male Mind: Connecting Emotionally 63Quick Action Program-Step Four: Practice Emotional Giving 87The Power of Sex 91How to Improve Your MarriageInsightful Change: The Inner Voice Recognition Formula 115Quick Action Program-Step Five: Emotional Giving 134Quick Action Program-Step Six: Sex 148Lessons from Successful Marriages 151Caring for Yourself 161Responding to Your Husband's Love 171Quick Action Program-Step Seven: Finding the Time to Love 179Epilogue: What We've Learned about What You Can Do 181Will Therapy Help? 185Healing after an Affair 193Recommended Reading 209Index 211
