Three Martini Playdate: An Essential Guide to Happy Parenting
Parents were here first! How did the kids suddenly take control? Sure the world has changed from the days when children were supposed to be seen and not heardbut things have gotten a little out of hand. What about some quality time for the grownups? Author Christie Mellor's hilarious, personal, refreshing, and actually quite useful advice delightfully rights the balance between parent and child. In dozens of short, wickedly funny chapters, she skewers today's parental absurdities and reminds...
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Parents were here first! How did the kids suddenly take control? Sure the world has changed from the days when children were supposed to be seen and not heard but things have gotten a little out of hand. What about some quality time for the grownups? Author Christie Mellor's hilarious, personal, refreshing, and actually quite useful advice delightfully rights the balance between parent and child. In dozens of short, wickedly funny chapters, she skewers today's parental absurdities and reminds us how to make child-rearing a kick. With recipes, helpful hints, and illustrations, this high-spirited book is the only book parents will really need and enjoy.
Introduction: In Praise of Grown-up Time11Saying No to Your Child: It's a Kick!16The Childproof House: How to Know If You've Gone Too Far22Bedtime: Is Five-thirty Too Early?29The Child at a Social Event32Screaming: Is It Necessary?39Your Child's Life: Now Available on DVD!42Diaper Bag or Steamer Trunk?46When It Is Time to Leave49Children's Birthday Parties: Not Just for Children!54The Family at Table61Child Labor: Not Just for the Third World!68Avoiding the Detritus of Childhood74Preschool: The Fast Track to Harvard78The Three-Martini Playdate82Mommy, I Want a Puppy!87"Children's Music": Why?94Are We There Yet? On the Road with Max and Maddy101School Days, School Days108Self-Esteem and Other Overrated Concepts113Karate, Little League, and Ballet: Your Child's Eighty-Hour Work Week117Steppin' Out with My Baby121Television: Is Six Hours a Day Too Much?126Your Cost-Effective Tomboy130Don't, Like, Waste My Time133The Amazing Hands-Off Daddy136Epilogue: Why Do We Have Children?141Helpful Hints!Etiquette for First-Time Parents14When You Are the Victim of Your Own Child20Practical Childproofing28On Getting out the Door53On Having Your Cooking Appreciated66Fiscal Planning and Your Tooth Fairy72For Your Listening Pleasure98Entertainment on the Road105On Helping Your Youngster with School Projects112Do-It-Yourself After-School Enrichment Program120RecipesOur Little Tot's First Martini Recipe37Lemonade for Grown-ups57Weenie Fondue (For a Crowd)58Devilish Eggs60
\ From the PublisherHarried mothers who have given over their lives to their adorable little angels, beware: This book is the equivalent of a cocktail in the face. You may even forget to patiently count to three the next time tiny Tallulah needs a time-out. "Let us be perfectly frank," writes Mellor. "You were here first." The empowerment is almost unbearable! "It's time to warm up the ice cubes, curl up on the sofa, and send darling Spencer into the other room to play by himself," insists Mellor. The book details the glories of saying no to your children, explains when you've gone too far in childproofing your home, laments our over-reliance on camcorders ("a disease") and suggests that the Tooth Fairy is getting robbed. Best of all, there's a recipe for teaching your tot how to mix a simple martini just the way you like it -- with lots of alcohol... -Chicago Sun-Times\ Mellor, mother of "two darling little angels," tells parents it's time take back their lives--and their right to have a few cocktails at a child's midday birthday party. With chapters such as "Bedtime: Is Five-Thirty Too Early?" and "Screaming: Is It Necessary?," the author lays out a plan for parents to enjoy themselves and not be slaves to their children while still offering their kids a warm, nurturing environment. Mellor's advice has a retro twang, and is always wry and often quite funny, standing in sharp contrast to the guidance normally found in books of its kind. The author urges readers to recruit children to pitch in with household chores ("Three years old is not too soon to start learning the fundamentals of decent vacuuming") and thinks excessively childproofing a home is ridiculous, since kids find a way to open complicated locks anyway ("You might as well festoon all your drawers and cabinets with brightly colored flags that say 'Hey, You! Kid! Fun and Danger in Here!'"). Mellor's guide will surely be a boon to parents in need of some "grown-up time." -Publishers Weekly\ \ \
