Why Good People Do Bad Things: How to Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy
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Why Good People Do Bad Things exposes the pervasive and often hidden impulses that influence our everyday decisions. The headlines are full of stories of good people gone astray. They show up on the evening news and are splashed across the weekly tabloids. In many ways, these sad stories have become a national obsession. Yet countless other acts of self-destruction and sabotage take place in our families, in our communities, in our circle of friends. Despite good intentions, "good people" do very bad things -- often without understanding why. New York Times–bestselling author Debbie Ford guides us into the heart of the duality that unknowingly operates within each one of us: the force that compels us to live by our values, give and receive love, and be a contributing member of the community; and the force that holds us back, sabotages our efforts, and repeatedly steers us toward bad choices. Ford begins with an examination of what she calls the Beach-Ball Effect -- the way in which suppressed emotions eventually rise to the surface -- revealing the origins of self-destructive behavior. By describing the never-ending battle between our light and dark sides and then identifying the signposts for potential disaster, Ford helps us understand how we end up damaging the lives we've worked so hard to create. She then breaks new ground by helping us recognize the masks we wear to protect ourselves, including the People Pleaser, the Victim, the Bully, Mister Cool, and the Jokester. Understanding these masks and what they cover up allows us to go beneath the surface, wake up from denial, and become the person we always intended to be. With Why Good People Do Bad Things Ford has created her most enduring, expansive, and powerful work to date. Providing the tools to unlock the patterns of self-sabotage, Ford ultimately knocks down the façade of the false self and shows us how to heal the split between light and dark and live the authentic life within our reach.
A Note to the Reader ixThe Never-Ending BattleThe Beach-Ball Effect 3The Split 11The Seesaw 25Shame on You 31The Fallout of Fear 51The Ego Gone Bad 67Cracking the Code of the False Self 83The Peace TreatyThe Masks 97Waking Up from Denial 145Healing the Split 169The Strength of Forgiveness 203Returning to Love 231
