Wicked Italian for the Traveler
Wicked Italian is more than a phrasebook con molto brio-it's a cultural survival guide. Put an end to taxi terror, unlock the riddle of museum hours. Forgetful innkeepers snap to when you threaten /allora dormiamo nella lobby ("In that case we will sleep here in the lobby").
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More than just a phrasebook with a sense of humor, Wicked Italian, from the series with over one million copies in print, is a cultural survival guide. Confronted with a forgetful innkeeper you'll do better than mumble an apology by learning to say Allora dormiamo nella lobby. ("In that case, we will sleep here in the lobby"). Forced to wait for your dinner you'll say: Bisogna essere Primo Ministro per essere servito qui? ("Must one be Prime Minister to get service here?") Women traveling alone will finally have the phrases they need at their fingertips, such as Contento tu ("Dream on"), Guardi che chiamo la polizia ("I'll call the police"), and Neanche se fosse l'ultimo uomo sulla terra ("Not if you were the last man on earth"). On the other hand, a chapter on "Making Love" teaches the delicate language of amore. Wicked Italian is the next best thing to being named Marcello or Sophia. Ciao!
Men: Unleash the Latin Lover Inside You\ \ To compete with the Natives, non-European men must know two things: Italian men are willing to exaggerate beyond all the bounds of reason, and women are willing to believe them. Sometimes.\ \ I have never known love until now.\ Non ho mai conosciuto Yamore fino ad oggi.\ \ The profound mystery of whatever you just said sets my heart on fire.\ Il profundo mistero di ciò che stai dicendo mi infuoca il cuore.\ \ I will kill myself if you ever leave me.\ Se mi lasci mi uccido.\ \ What is your name, my celestial fruit basket?\ Come ti chiami, mio cestino di frutta celestiale?\ \ Your name is like an ageless aria to my ears. \ Il tuo nome suona alle mie orecchie come una melodia senza eta.\ \ What? This man is your husband?\ Che cosa? Quello è tuo marito!?\ \ You deserve greater joy than such a man could ever provide!\ Meriti ben altra gioia che quella che può dare un tipo così!\ \ You deny our everlasting love!?\ Neghi l-Yamore eterno!?\ \ Then at least give me your phone number, my heavenly marinara sauce.\ Almeno dammi il tuo numero ditelefono, mio sugo alla marinara.
CONTENTSWELCOME TO ITALYWelcome to Italy…5Hand-to-Hand Conversation…6Linguistic Disclaimer…7THE PRACTICAL TRAVELERClassic Border Pleas…8Ending Taxi Terror…10Understanding Your Fare…11Doing the Locomotion…12Note to Men…13Train Travel Tips…14Throwing the Switch…15You Can Win at Hotel Negotiation…16 Fending Off Gypsy Curses…18A Rose Is a Ruse…19The Italian Phone System…20Prayer to Saint Ilaria, Virgin of Naples…21Italian Drugs You May Need…22How and When to Quote Dante…23Elementary Cursing…24DRIVE AND SURVIVEThe Automobile: An Italian Love Affair…26Prayer to Saint Laura of Rome…27 Lying to Policemen: The National Pastime…28Assorted International Symbols…30Shouting in Traffic…31FOOD AND DRINKBeautiful Names of Revolting Dishes and Vice Versa…32Declining the Imperative…34Secrets of the Italian Coffee Shop…35Meaningful Things to Say About Olive Oil…36Your Inevitable Stains…37Your Medical Emergency…38 SHOPPING AND SIGHT-SEEINGThe Shoe and the Wallet…40Prayer to Saint Ferragamo…41Armani Versus Our Money…42Understanding Italian BusinessHours…44Solving the Riddle of Museum Hours…46RELIGION, POLITICS, AND SPORTSYour Emergency Confession…48Political Discourse…54Authentic Screaming for Spectators…52THOSE FRIENDLY ITALIANSMen: Unleash the Latin Lover Inside You…54Women: Deflate the Latin Lover Behind You…56Pet Names: Animal…57 Making Love…58Pet Names: Vegetable…59Denying Your Infidelity…61Pet Names: Celestial…62lEffective Letter-Writing…63
