Worst Laid Plans: When Bad Sex Happens to Good People
Based on a live event staged at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre and created by Alexandra Lydon and Laura Kindred, Worst Laid Plans is a collection of unrepentantly uncensored, true-life tales from writers, actors, and comedians who have all taken the oath: When bad sex happens to good people, there's no recourse like full disclosure. So if you think you've heard it all, this laugh-out-loud volume will quickly disabuse you of that notion.
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“When bad sex happens to good people, there is no recourse like full disclosure,” is the motto of Worst Laid Plans, a collection of forty probably-too-intimate, but shockingly funny, true-life tales of lust gone wrong. The stories are divided into themed sections including Foreign Affairs (“When bad sex goes abroad”), Self-Help (“Love thyself…but do it carefully”), On the Rebound (“The art of getting back in-and-out-there”), Mob Mentality (People will do things in groups they would never do alone”), and The End of Innocence (“A memorial to virginity”) among others. The book evolved out of a storytelling event originally staged at Upright Citizen Brigade, the highly influential comedy organization co-founded by Amy Poehler, who along with Janeane Garofalo and SNL’s Casey Wilson, performed at the show that continues today. Part Vagina Monologues, part car crash, and wholly hilarious, the volume features contributions from shameless actors, comedians, and writers who will shamelessly spread the word via blogs, on-line videos, tweets, on-going WLP performances, film/TV/media contacts, and further sexual conquests.
About the Stage Show xForeword xiIntroduction xiiiThe End of InnocenceConfessions of a Teenage Mime Amy Rhodes 2The Virgin Queen Waitress, NYC, 30 6Puff the Un-Magic Dragon Nick Garfinkle 10You Bet Your Ass "The Flying Buttress" 13Self-HelpCaught Dick-Handed Zach Steel 18A Cushion for the Pushini Michael J. Nice 25RelationshitHow He Became My Number One by Taking Care of My Number Two Erin Pineda 30My Fast Boyfriend Mary Lynn Rajskub 35A Bedtime Story Laraine Newman 40Hong Kong Bottom Jay Janson 45Pie in the Sky Adria Tennor Blotta 51Mob MentalityWhore Next Door Whitney Cummings 58That Time I Molested a Girl Who Had a Mustache Jane Doe 62Foreign AffairsTrapped in the Closet "SUZ" 68The Farting Rapist Alexandra Lydon 72An American Alcoholic in London Rachel F 80A Wilde Night in Paris Jackie Clarke 86The Size and Shape of ThingsFatty and the Fake Dick Dorien Davies 92The "M" Word John Flynn 98The Way-Too-Personal Assistant Emmy Rowland 105Words of MouthFace Fucked by an Elephant Man 112Cuddlewhore Beth Littleford 116Can't Blow Me Love Laura Kindred 122Going Against the GayComing In Wally Marzano-Lesnevich 130Get Your Titty off My Thigh Tymberlee Hill 136Homosexual Schmomosexual Alison Brie 140Kink About ItRed Will McLaughlin 148Foot Slave Michael Feldman 155Near-Death SexperiencesPoké-pon Boti Bliss 164I Got Her Number, She Got My Digit Drew Difonzo Marks 168On the ReboundModel Behavior Eric W. Pearson 174Sleeps with Dogs Jennifer Hirshlag 185Two Households, One A'Lacking Dignity "Juliet" 190A Sexual JourneyRub-a-Dub-Dub, Thanks for the ... Nub? Casey Wilson 198Here Comes the Late Bloomer Katya Lidsky 201Unsent Letters Matt Mcconkey 206A Sonnet Eric W. Pearson 213Glossary 214Crossword Puzzle 218About the Editors 220About the Contributors 221
