You Don't Have to Take it Anymore Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship into a Compassionate, Loving One
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As many as one-third of all American women tiptoe through life as if they are walking on eggshells -- at home, they spend most of their time trying to avoid criticism, anger, put-downs, or cold shoulders from their husbands or boyfriends. This verbal and emotional abuse can erupt over anything and everything, matters large and small: housework, cooking, work, spending money, buying household items and clothes for the kids, and going out. Clearly, verbal and emotional abuse is a serious problem. Relationship expert Dr. Steven Stosny has been featured on national media for the revolutionary techniques he uses in his Compassion-Power and Boot Camp programs, which help men rewire their resentment and anger, stop using emotionally abusive language and behavior, and compassionately recommit to their marriages and families. Now, in You Don't Have to Take It Anymore, Dr. Stosny puts his effective, highly sought-after program into print, making it widely available for the first time for women who want to stop walking on eggshells. Drawing on his seventeen years of experience treating thousands of clients, Dr. Stosny explains the many different forms a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship can take. He explains how to identify abuse and why it's important to take action to change the relationship -- for not only is verbal and emotional abuse monumentally destructive to both the adults in the relationship, it also hurts their children. Dr. Stosny shows women and men how to apply his methods at home, shows women how to get their men to change, and demonstrates how they can know if change is permanent. Additionally, Dr. Stosny's program helps women recover from thepain and abuse by practicing self-healing skills so that they can reclaim their natural sense of competence and confidence. Using language that is more compassionate and accessible than in any other book on relationship abuse -- and different tactics from most other therapies and therapists -- You Don't Have to Take It Anymore presents a practical program that both women and men can use to stop verbal and emotional abuse. Publishers Weekly If you're always walking on eggshells around your partner, Stosny is writing for you. The CompassionPower founder and relationship expert draws examples and exercises from his experience working with couples as he discusses core values, anger management, power struggles and reconstruction. Resentment is Stosny's main target (not possible underlying depression, anxiety or other factors). The approach may provide false hope if the reader's reality is too complex for self-help, but it could also foster important life changes. (Jan. 10) Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.
ContentsIntroduction: The Hidden EpidemicVisceral Fear of HarmHow to Use This Book Self-Disclosure and DedicationPart IWalking on Eggshells1 Why You Have Thorns in Your HeartWalking-on-Eggshells Quiz2 How Love Is Meant to Work and Why It So Often Doesn't3 The Mirror of Love4 Why Marriage Counseling, Psychotherapy, Anger-Management, and Abuser Treatment Made It WorsePart IIReclaiming the Self5 Recovering Your Core Value6 Removing the Thorns from Your Heart7 Developing Your Natural Sense of Self, Competence, and GrowthPostscript to Part IIPart IIIThe Boot CampIntroduction to the Boot Camp8 Commitment to Healing9 Finding Your Real Power10 Connecting with Your Core Value11 HEALS: Automatically Regulating Resentment, Anger, and the Impulse to Criticize, Reject, or Abuse12 The Power of Compassion13 Your Wife Needs Time and Lots of Compassion to Recover14 Reestablishing Connection15 Preventing Relapse: Weekly and Monthly ChecklistsPart IVResurrection for Your Marriage16 How to Know That Change Is Permanent17 Replacing Power Struggles with Mutual Empowerment18 Rituals of Repair and ReconnectionPostscript: The Light within YouAppendix I: When Your Relationship Doesn't Make ItAppendixII: Resentful, Angry, and Abusive WomenAppendix III: Statistical Foundation of the ProgramAcknowledgmentsIndexAbout the Author
