Your Defiant Teen: 10 Steps to Resolve Conflict and Rebuild Your Relationship
When your teen's rebellious behavior "Crosses the line," How can you reestablish your authority without getting caught in a power struggle? Bestselling authors and distinguished psychologists Russell Barkley and Arthur Robin have each spent decades helping parents and kinds resolve standoffs and repair their relationships. Now they've distilled their approach into a clinically proven self-help program that can help you break through to your teen and rebuild trust. Centered around 10 simple...
Search in google:
When your teen’s rebellious behavior “crosses the line,” how can you reestablish your authority without getting caught in a power struggle? Bestselling authors and distinguished psychologists Russell Barkley and Arthur Robin have each spent decades helping parents and kids resolve standoffs and repair their relationships. Now they’ve distilled their approach into a clinically proven self-help program that can help you break through to your teen and rebuild trust. Centered around 10 simple steps that lead to better behavior, Your Defiant Teen provides practical guidelines for putting an end to the hostilities. You’ll learn realistic ways to foster mutual respect, introduce cooperative problem solving, and strengthen family relationships--while giving your teen vital skills for becoming a mature, independent adult. Publishers Weekly Barkley, research professor of psychiatry at SUNY-Syracuse Medical University and author (with Benton) of Your Defiant Child, and Robin (director of psychology training at Children's Hospital of Michigan) share between them 60 years of clinical and research experience studying the defiant behavior of children and adolescents. The first part of their comprehensive defiance-busting system helps parents define and assess the problem. The authors provide a chart to help readers gauge their child's behavior, then outline four factors that contribute to defiance: the teen's and parents' characteristics (which are unchanging), stress (which can be alleviated somewhat) and parenting style (which can be substantially modified). Part Two delves into the principles for reversing or preventing defiance, with sections on "one-on-one" time (including how to accomplish this with an uninterested teen), managing behavior and choosing appropriate punishments and rewards, to name a few. Without placing blame, the authors reveal that parents often unwittingly make a bad situation worse; the text gives solid tips on how to work toward a positive outcome and offers a variety of scenarios, demonstrating precisely how a parent's words and actions can be the source of a teen's compliant or defiant response. In the end, the authors offer a useful and detailed approach that respects the rights and expectations of parents and teens. (Feb.)Copyright 2007 Reed Business Information
Acknowledgments ixIntroduction 1You and Your Defiant TeenWhat Defiance Is-and What You Should Do about It 9How Defiance Develops 26What Does Adolescence Have to Do with It? 39Is It Just Your Teen's Personality? 53Where Do You Come In? 65How to Find a Way Out 8210 Steps to a Better Relationship with Your Teen-and a Better Future for Your TeenGetting Ready 97Step 1. Making Positive One-on-One Time a Habit 112Step 2. A New Way to Manage Behavior 127Step 3. Contracts and Point Systems: How Teens Can Earn Privileges 142Step 4. Making the Punishment Really Fit the Crime 171Step 5. Tackling Additional Issues with Rewards and Penalties 187Step 6. Addressing Defiant Behavior in School and Conflicts over Homework 205Step 7. Using Problem-Solving Skills 219Step 8. Learning and Practicing Communication Skills 245Step 9. Dealing with Unreasonable Beliefs and Expectations 267Step 10. Keeping It Together 293Sample Problem-Solving Worksheets 305How to Find a Therapist 310Resources 313Index 319About the Authors 326
\ From the Publisher"The very best book of its kind for parents dealing with behaviorally difficult teens. Valuable real-life examples illuminate not just what defiance looks like, but why it happens, and how to bring about change while strengthening family relationships. This will be the first book I recommend to the families I work with."--Sam Goldstein, PhD, Department of Psychology, George Mason University\ "Drs. Barkley and Robin have hit gold--this book is a real treasure! The book provides very practical strategies for managing teenagers' behavior and enhancing family relationships. It is written specifically for parents, but professionals and students also will find it a 'must read.' The authors should be congratulated for this brilliant work that will be of value to so many families in the years to come."--Ronald T. Brown, PhD, Dean, Temple University College of Health Professions; Editor, Journal of Pediatric Psychology "Drs. Barkley and Robin have blended their talents and years of clinical experience in putting together this 'must-read' book for all parents struggling with a teenager's vexing, challenging, and frustrating behavior. The book delivers tried-and-true techniques for resolving conflict in parent-teen relationships, together with wonderful practical tips and FAQs."--Gerald J. August, PhD, Department of Psychiatry, University of Minnesota Medical School "This practical book shows how real change starts with you, the parent, and provides empowering tools and step-by-step guidance for making a positive difference in teen behavior. It is an excellent resource that will help you become a stronger positive influence in your teen's life."--Sharon K. Weiss, MEd, coauthor of From Chaos to Calm and Angry Children, Worried Parents\ "As my son enters his adolescent years, I am thrilled to have this book! It is an easy read with many practical, commonsense ideas to try. The checklists and step-by-step approaches are very inviting. With all the pages to personalize our specific problem areas, it felt as though this book were truly written for my family. I am thrilled to be able to implement positive practices instead of always dwelling on the negative. I have already told many fellow parents and teachers about this book."--Lisa Boyadjian, elementary school teacher and parent of a 12-year-old\ "Another essential work from Drs. Barkley and Robin. With most books in this area focused on children, there is a great need for practical, evidence-based information related to adolescents and their conflicts with family members. A 'must read' for parents, clinicians, and all those interested in the often-trying area of teen/n-/family interactions."--Stephen P. Hinshaw, PhD, Department of Psychology, University of California, Berkeley\ \ \ \ \ \ Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry"A practical missive to parents confronting defiance....Your Defiant Teen delivers on its promise. It is a directive book that encourages parents to take back authority while simultaneously respecting the magic process of burgeoning independence....The examples are diverse and inclusive as they span the teen years. The problem behaviors vary from sneaking time on the Internet to covert midday romantic encounters at the expense of regular school attendance. These descriptions seem empowering for parents because they help define the problem and help parents feel less isolated in dealing with the difficult teen....Your Defiant Teen is an empathy-building, empowering, and practical book. It is a wonderful tool for highly motivated parents looking to master techniques for dealing with defiance....The sections of the book that help build insight into defiance as the task of adolescence and frame general healthy interactions could be helpful to all types of parents dealing with defiance. Defiance is a tough foe, and this book should be a real help to parents struggling to put defiance in its place."--Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry\ \ \ Child and Family Behavior Therapy"The authors have much experience in dealing with Oppositional and Defiant teens. They have included in this self-help book many practical and useful hints, ideas, and strategies that many parents may find helpful. Their trying to discriminate which level and sort of problems may need professional help and which can be tackled by simply using this book is a plus....It can be a positive adjunct to therapists working with this population by providing parents an additional resource to consult between therapy sessions. It is a good example of a targeted book that can be recommended."--Child and Family Behavior Therapy\ \ \ \ \ Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics"Barkley and Robin provide a systematic and well-organized approach for caregivers to develop the tools and techniques with which to manage defiant behavior in teenagers by first understanding what it is and realizing some of the contributing factors resulting in maladaptive negative behavior patterns. The ultimate payoff after immersing oneself in their 10-step program is living more harmoniously with your teenager as they assert their growing independence."--Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics\ \ \ \ \ Journal of Child and Family Studies"This practical guide provides a tool for parents to nurture teens through this difficult stage of development with compassion, consistency, and structure....The book's style is consistently instructive, and as a parent of a teenager, I was able to relate to the realistic examples presented....As both a parent of a teenaged child and an advocate of positive behavior management, I find this book to be an invaluable resource by which parents can resolve and work through the difficult and often devastating issue of teen defiance. The book and its program offer the possibility of change for both parents and teens, as well as hope for families in distress. The book is not only informative but enjoyable, and I believe that any family with a teenaged child would benefit from reading and applying the ideas it promotes."--Journal of Child and Family Studies\ \ \ \ \ Publishers WeeklyBarkley, research professor of psychiatry at SUNY-Syracuse Medical University and author (with Benton) of Your Defiant Child, and Robin (director of psychology training at Children's Hospital of Michigan) share between them 60 years of clinical and research experience studying the defiant behavior of children and adolescents. The first part of their comprehensive defiance-busting system helps parents define and assess the problem. The authors provide a chart to help readers gauge their child's behavior, then outline four factors that contribute to defiance: the teen's and parents' characteristics (which are unchanging), stress (which can be alleviated somewhat) and parenting style (which can be substantially modified). Part Two delves into the principles for reversing or preventing defiance, with sections on "one-on-one" time (including how to accomplish this with an uninterested teen), managing behavior and choosing appropriate punishments and rewards, to name a few. Without placing blame, the authors reveal that parents often unwittingly make a bad situation worse; the text gives solid tips on how to work toward a positive outcome and offers a variety of scenarios, demonstrating precisely how a parent's words and actions can be the source of a teen's compliant or defiant response. In the end, the authors offer a useful and detailed approach that respects the rights and expectations of parents and teens. (Feb.)\ Copyright 2007 Reed Business Information\ \
