Gay Fatherhood: Narratives of Family and Citizenship in America

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Author: Ellen Lewin

ISBN-10: 0226476588

ISBN-13: 9780226476582

Category: Gay fathers

More and more gay men are becoming parents, and in Gay Fatherhood, Ellen Lewin presents an in-depth look at the experiences of this surprisingly overlooked group. Lewin takes as her focus people who undertake the difficult process of becoming fathers as gay men, rather than having become fathers while married to women. These men face many challenges in their quest for fatherhood, overcoming unique bureaucratic and financial hurdles as they pursue adoption or surrogacy and juggling questions...

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Men are often thought to have less interest in parenting than women, and gay men are generally assumed to prefer pleasure over responsibility. The toxic combination of these two stereotypical views has led to a lack of serious attention being paid to the experiences of gay fathers. But the truth is that more and more gay men are setting out to become parents and succeeding—and Gay Fatherhood aims to tell their stories. Ellen Lewin takes as her focus people who undertake the difficult process of becoming fathers as gay men, rather than having become fathers while married to women. These men face unique challenges in their quest for fatherhood, negotiating specific bureaucratic and financial conditions as they pursue adoption or surrogacy and juggling questions about their future child’s race, age, sex, and health. Gay Fatherhood chronicles the lives of these men, exploring how they cope with political attacks from both the "family values" right and the "radical queer" left—while also shedding light on the evolving meanings of family in twenty-first-century America. Choice "This thoughtful, well-crafted ethnographic study unapologetically depends not on direct observation of quotidian experiences in the households of gay fathers, but rather on the discourse they have developed to explain their incursion into parenthood. . . . The narratives spun by the fathers show a more conservative and altruistic side than is usually attributed to gay men, making this fascinating book a true treasure."

Acknowledgments ixPrologue. "How Can You Study Such Yucky People?" 1Chapter 1 Family Values: New Questions about Lesbian and Gay Peoples in the U.S. 14Chapter 2 Consuming Fatherhood 42Chapter 3 "Something Inside Me": Gay Fathers and Nature 76Chapter 4 Our Own Families 98Chapter 5 Do the Right Thing 125Chapter 6 "We're Not Gay Anymore" 152Chapter 7 Corrective Lenses, or Revisioning Yuckiness 174Notes 193References 209Index 227

\ RH Reality CheckA dense, comprehensive academic text, Gay Fatherhood nevertheless deserves a wide readership. The issues contained in its pages are simply too important. . . . Simply put, Gay Fatherhood does what many studies, papers, and books fail to do. It lends an unbiased ear to the struggles of gay men seeking fatherhood. . . . Illuminating this struggle within GLBT communities is not only a necessary part of the growing conversation around homosexuality in America; it is an integral part of how we continue to redefine our expectations surrounding gay identity, the law, and 'family.'\ — Brittany Shoot\ \ \ \ \ \ Choice"This thoughtful, well-crafted ethnographic study unapologetically depends not on direct observation of quotidian experiences in the households of gay fathers, but rather on the discourse they have developed to explain their incursion into parenthood. . . . The narratives spun by the fathers show a more conservative and altruistic side than is usually attributed to gay men, making this fascinating book a true treasure."\ \ \ \ Tom Boellstorff“With Gay Fatherhood, Ellen Lewin further cements her posit\ \ \ \ \ \ John D'Emilio“The beauty and power of Ellen Lewin’s work is that she makes us see the world differently; Gay Fatherhood continues that tradition. In it, she challenges the rigid orthodoxies of both a Christian right and a queer left that can’t utter ‘gay’ and ‘fatherhood’ in the same breath. Her thoughtful observations about these men’s choices let us understand parenthood, family, and sexual identity in provocative new ways. Gay Fatherhood deserves a wide readership.”\ \ \ \ \ \ William L. Leap“Gay Fatherhood is a useful introduction to a major, if somewhat unexpected, dimension of contemporary U.S. gay culture. The book expands the intersections of anthropology, feminist theory and marriage and family studies that emerged from Lewin’s earlier studies of lesbian motherhood and same-sex commitment ceremonies. And it presents a strong counterargument to those who insist that parenting is a form of gay assimilation, by showing, in the men’s own words, how parenting becomes a site for resisting and reshaping conventional definitions of ‘gay identity’ and ‘fatherhood.’”\ \ \ \ \ \ RH Reality Check"A dense, comprehensive academic text, Gay Fatherhood nevertheless deserves a wide readership. The issues contained in its pages are simply too important. . . . Simply put, Gay Fatherhood does what many studies, papers, and books fail to do. It lends an unbiased ear to the struggles of gay men seeking fatherhood. . . . Illuminating this struggle within GLBT communities is not only a necessary part of the growing conversation around homosexuality in America; it is an integral part of how we continue to redefine our expectations surrounding gay identity, the law, and 'family.'"\ \ \