Undateable: 311 Things Guys Do That Guarantee They Won't Be Dating or Having Sex
Did your date show up wearing socks with sandals? Are tighty-whities a deal-breaker for you? Do fanny packs make you want to run for the door? Now, for the very first time, we're revealing the secret list of things that so many perfectly eligible guys manage to wear, say, or do to make themselves completely undateable. With an essential rating system that ranges from minor red-flag offenses all the way to the irreversible kiss of death, this hilarious handbook exposes the many common mistakes...
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SHIRT: SPORTS JERSEY. JEANS: EMBELLISHED. HAIR: OVERLY GELLED. STATUS: UNDATEABLE. Did your date show up wearing socks with sandals? Are tighty-whities a deal-breaker for you? Do fanny packs make you want to run for the door? Now, for the very first time, we’re revealing the secret list of things that so many perfectly eligible guys manage to wear, say, or do to make themselves completely undateable. With an essential rating system that ranges from minor red-flag offenses all the way to the irreversible kiss of death, this hilarious handbook exposes the many common mistakes that can turn an otherwise acceptable man from a “maybe” into a “no way.” From pleated shorts and soul patches to ordering girly drinks and owning more than one cat, the evidence is painfully funny to behold. No more double denim, corporate swag, or exclaiming “Booya!” No more jogging in place at stoplights, and definitely no more “going dutch” on the first date. This book is for every woman who’s ever wondered where to draw the line, and every guy who’s ever asked, “What did I do wrong?”Here’s what you did.
Introduction 1A Few Notes on How to Read This Book... 9What Not to Wear 10What Not to Say 94What Not to Do 126What Not to BeWeekend White Guy 30“G” 38Anal Andy 58Benchwarmer 74Mr. Softy 84Meathead 98Bitter Boy 106Enlightened Gay 140Stoney 156Mega Douche 168Why Your Guy Friends Find You Undateable 176Conclusion 182
