Yes, Your Teen Is Crazy!: Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind

ForewordxiAcknowledgmentsxiiiIntroductionxvPart 1Your Child: The New-Millennium Adolescent1Chapter 1The Adolescent Brain3Chapter 2Your Adolescent's World: Sex, Drugs, and Rock 'n Roll Like You Never Saw18Chapter 3Peer Influence and Your Child39Chapter 4Adolescent Change51Chapter 5Adolescent Insanity: What's Normal, What's Not61Part 2New-Millennium Parents: Understanding Your Role and Accepting Your Challenge101Chapter 6Grieving the Death of Your Sweet, Compliant Child103Chapter 7Parental Self-Examination: How Your Behavior and Personality Affect Who Your Adolescent Is113Chapter 8The Family Matters: Parent Teamwork, Divorce, Single Parenting, and Blended Families135Part 3Putting It All Together: Field-Tested Strategies for Effectively Parenting Your Adolescent161Chapter 9The 10 Commandments of Parenting Your Teen165Chapter 10Making and Enforcing Rules and Decisions196Chapter 11Problem-Solving Strategies: What to Do When Your Teen...225Chapter 12Balancing Safety with Privacy: Walking the Razor's Edge252Chapter 13Surviving Your Kid's Rage263Chapter 14Drugs: The DOs and the DON'Ts277Chapter 15Sex and Dating: What You Need to Know292Chapter 16Getting Help305Chapter 17Epilogues: Coming Home319Suggested Reading325Index329

\ Publishers WeeklyBradley, a psychologist drawing on current brain research, argues that teenagers are basically nuts. While 95 percent of the brain develops in early childhood, the most advanced parts aren't completed until adolescence is nearly over. As a result, teens can appear unstable, dysfunctional and unpredictable, with temporarily impaired judgment and decision-making processes. In addition, Bradley argues, contemporary culture further challenges teens' thinking capabilities; the prevalence of sex, drugs and violence makes the teen's job of cognitive balancing even more precarious. The good news is that parents do make a difference, and Bradley clearly explains how parents can encourage and guide their kids through these tumultuous years. Stressing that teens are still "children," Bradley encourages parents to respond like "dispassionate cops," teaching and remaining calm even when teens behave outrageously. While Bradley's prose which he admits might be shocking and offensive at times may be initially off-putting to some, the book is compelling, lively and realistic. Using crisp, believable anecdotes that are alternately poignant and hysterically funny (while avoiding generic examples, jargon or psychobabble), Bradley homes in on real-life scenarios, showing parents, for instance, how to respond when their teen is "raging," and how to set curfews and limits. Bradley draws a vivid picture of what the teen is going through, and gives parents the tools to tackle contemporary issues together. An invaluable parachute to parents diving into the teen years. (Sept.) Forecast: A $100,000 marketing campaign, a 10-city author tour, the recent widespread media coverage of related neurological data and aboveall, the need for sensible, funny books on raising teenagers all bode well for this book's sales. Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information.\ \ \ \ \ Publishers WeeklyBradley, a psychologist drawing on current brain research, argues that teenagers are basically nuts. While 95 percent of the brain develops in early childhood, the most advanced parts aren't completed until adolescence is nearly over. As a result, teens can appear unstable, dysfunctional and unpredictable, with temporarily impaired judgment and decision-making processes. In addition, Bradley argues, contemporary culture further challenges teens' thinking capabilities; the prevalence of sex, drugs and violence makes the teen's job of cognitive balancing even more precarious. The good news is that parents do make a difference, and Bradley clearly explains how parents can encourage and guide their kids through these tumultuous years. Stressing that teens are still "children," Bradley encourages parents to respond like "dispassionate cops," teaching and remaining calm even when teens behave outrageously. While Bradley's prose-which he admits might be shocking and offensive at times-may be initially off-putting to some, the book is compelling, lively and realistic. Using crisp, believable anecdotes that are alternately poignant and hysterically funny (while avoiding generic examples, jargon or psychobabble), Bradley homes in on real-life scenarios, showing parents, for instance, how to respond when their teen is "raging," and how to set curfews and limits. Bradley draws a vivid picture of what the teen is going through, and gives parents the tools to tackle contemporary issues together. This book is an invaluable parachute to parents diving into the teen years. Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information.\ \ \ Children's LiteratureEvery adult with a middle school child should read this book. Written in conversational style, Dr. Bradley presents a myriad of stories of adolescents and their parents who have struggled to work their way through the tumultuous teen years. Presented in three parts, the first is descriptive of adolescents and recent research showing how the brain works and changes during this growth period. Part two relates this new research with parental behavior. Succinctly, get over the fact that your sweet child no longer exists, look at how your behaviors and personality can affect your child, and examine the influences and challenges of family parenting whether is be as a team, single parent, divorced or blended. Third, Bradley does offer the carrot on the stick, the hope that by abandoning your preconceived ideas of parenting and learning new skills, you can effectively navigate through your child's adolescence to young adulthood. Here he offers sound advice for rule-making and enforcement, problem-solving strategies, rage, drugs, sex and seeking outside help. He emphasizes that there is no one "fix" to make the upcoming years sail smoothly and speedily past, but that treating this time with a sense of humor and new parenting skills will allow you and your teen to be survivors. 2001, Harbor Press, $19.95. Ages Adult. Reviewer: Mary Sue Preissner\ \ \ \ \ VOYAThe only job tougher than being a teenager is being the parent of a teenager. Between their peers and popular culture, today's teens need more support than ever to become successful, thriving adults. This earnestly written and well-organized book is a must-have manual that highlights strategies to cope with the challenges of raising a modern teen. Bradley dispels the myths and insecurities parents have with humorous, casual ease:"Terrible jobs can be great antidotes to those discussions of the irrelevance of school. Chop onions for 10 hours and then tell me how stupid school is." Divided into three sections, the book makes readers aware of the common challenges teens face in part one, along with discussions on Internet insanity and distinguishing normal behavior from unusual acting-out behavior. In the second part, Bradley outlines advice on how to parent effectively in the face of such challenges, from modeling appropriate values and behaviors to respecting their space and choices. Parents in every domestic structure—married, single, or blended—will appreciate the author's sensitivity in addressing the unique concerns of each. Bradley outlines the Ten Commandments of parenting a teen—including Thou Shalt Apologize Often—and how to set up and enforce rules, and provides advice on administering consequences, not punishments. Excellent features include actual parent anecdotes, critical dos and don'ts, and a suggested reading list for specific issues from anger to eating disorders. This honest, comprehensive book of strategies will benefit anyone currently interacting with teens, personally or professionally. Index. Further Reading. 2001, Harbour Press, 342p, $19.95.Ages Adult. Reviewer:Beth Gilbert—VOYA, December 2001 (Vol. 24, No. 5)\ \ \ \ \ Library JournalFor parents who have tried everything but still have teens who are out of control, Bradley's Yes, Your Teen Is Crazy! is a funny, blunt, and reassuring book. Philadelphia psychologist Bradley approaches the subject from the viewpoint that teens are, well, a little nuts; using current brain research, he points out that the most sophisticated parts of the mind are not developed until the end of adolescence ergo, the acting out, mood swings, ADHD, depression, suicide, anorexia, etc. The basic premise is that parents are still the most influential force in their kids' lives and that the old rules of parenting are not only unhelpful but destructive. Adults must take the blame for ignoring rampant alcohol addictions among teens, allowing sex to saturate culture so much that kids don't even know what intimacy and commitment are, and believing that raising children in 2001 can be easy. Rejecting peer pressure as an excuse for unacceptable behaviors, Bradley distinguishes between "normal" and "insane." One chapter describes negotiation, decision-making, and the enforcement of rules; another deals with the new phenomenon of teen rage and how to survive it. Overall, the message is that kids can become fine people even if they screw up a lot, and you need to play the parent, not the cool confidante. Therapist and professor Sells (Savannah State Univ.; Treating the Tough Adolescent) deals with teens whose behavior falls into the realm of "insanity": kids who are enraged, push buttons endlessly, steal, ditch school, use drugs or get pregnant, and defy authority in general. Good, well-meaning parents, he notes, are worn out, and these families need immediate help. Sells's approach is all "how-to": he provides seven basic steps, backed up with lists of strategies in the "What do I do if..." mode. These steps will empower parents to regain authority, bring families out of deep trouble, and begin to restore the love parents and teens once held for each other. Sells's extensive work and research with teens and parents is evident. Both books are excellent choices for public libraries. Linda Beck, Indian Valley P.L., Telford, PA Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information.\ \